


Welcome Home

by RensSaxophone



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: Tokiya was lonely- riding out his days as a cook at a cafe, until he meets two new regulars.
Relationships: Ren Jinguji / Tokiya Ichinose / Ranmaru Kurosaki
Kudos: 15





	Welcome Home

Tokiya hated getting home. He worked a late night shift as a chef in a cafe, and by the time the kitchen was closed it was usually about two. Buses didn’t run that late, so by the time he had actually arrived home, it was nearly two thirty. One day Tokiya would learn how to drive. A later day Tokiya would manage to get himself a car. 

Maybe the car should come first?

Tokiya wasn’t sure. Right now he made just enough for food, rent, and the occasional splurge. He’d buy himself something he wanted every other paycheck. Sometimes it’d be a few small items, and sometimes he’d skip buying anything and get something larger two paychecks later. 

He was more or less living paycheck to paycheck, but that was okay, because he was managing. He wasn’t unhappy with his life, but it was lonely. 

When Tokiya got home, it was empty. And even when Tokiya had a roommate, it wasn’t as if anyone had been awake to greet him when he got home. At least he didn’t have to deal with his old roommate’s girlfriend. She wasn’t a bad person, but Tokiya hated reminders that the closest thing he had to a partner were his books. 

God, he was already in his late twenties, too. He hadn’t ever even had a relationship that lasted past a few months, and that was back in high school. Meeting people wasn’t an easy task. 

So that was how his life went. A monotonous cycle of going to work, going home, and reading. Mostly. Sometimes he’d catch a movie. He didn’t really have any friends. There were a few people that he spoke to at work, and while that didn’t feel like it was enough, Tokiya wasn’t quite outgoing enough to schedule get togethers and no one asked him to join them. 

But then their last waitress up and quit. Tokiya liked working in the kitchen because he didn’t have to put on a face for the customers. Sure, he was great at serving customers- but it exhausted him. But they were understaffed and when they lost Chi, the manager had spoke to the kitchen. 

The people in the kitchen had literally drawn straws to see who would take Chi’s place. It happened that Tokiya drew the short straw. 

On the bright side, he wasn’t cut off from cooking completely. Normally he was the waiter later at night, and while the other worker cleaned, Tokiya cooked and took orders. When they usually got a maximum of twenty people past ten, it wasn’t overly difficult on him. But Tokiya had gotten regulars. 

There were two of them. At first, it was only one at a time. The first one was very pretty, Tokiya had decided. And handsome. And charming. He was very distracting, and honestly, if Tokiya hadn’t had a phase of questioning his sexuality in high school, this man would’ve made him question it now. And it wasn’t just the man’s appearance, either, despite how captivating his eyes were. The tone of his voice was smooth, sultry. 

Tokiya must’ve seemed like an idiot the first time he went to take Ren’s order. 

Tokiya had barely looked at the man when he first approached, which was his first mistake, because when he looked up to introduce himself to the man, nothing came out. He just stared. 

The man was patient, though thoroughly amused. Tokiya could feel himself turn bright red. 

“Ah, I’m sorry. My name is Tokiya, I’ll be your server today- tonight.” Tokiya corrects himself. God, was embarrassing himself. “Can I get you something to drink?”

The man chuckles, watching Tokiya. It was quite the sound. Tokiya had to remind himself that this was just a stranger, and he was being ridiculous. There was just something about this man that was drawing Tokiya in. The man seemed to know it. 

“Just a water, please.” The man’s smile makes Tokiya’s heart skip, but he nods. He almost writes down the water before he realizes that he can just remember that. There aren’t more than five people in the entire restaurant right now, and that was including himself and his coworker.

Tokiya retreats back to the kitchen. His coworker looks up at him, at first confused. 

“Would you be interested in being a waiter for a half an hour?” Tokiya asks. His face still hasn’t quite cooled down. His coworker, a man not much older than Tokiya, glances over Tokiya’s shoulder, through the window- and he must see the man that Tokiya just walked away from. He laughs. 

“Aw, come on. You can do this Tokiya.” The man grins, clapping Tokiya’s shoulder. “You think he’s cute. Use that to your advantage, man. Tips and a cute dude. Enjoy yourself once in a while.”

Tokiya appreciates the… support? He guesses you could call it that. But he was too flustered to find this situation as amusing as his coworker seemed to. So he’d go get the glass of water for the customer, and right before he heads out he realizes he’s entirely spaced the waiter apron he’s supposed to be wearing. He backtracks to get it, and by the time he’s almost out of the door, he contemplates getting a fresh glass of water.

He’s being ridiculous. But there was something about the man that made him nervous. Maybe it was the extent of which he was attracted to the man. It didn’t feel normal. But he stopped making excuses and headed out to give the glass to the man, taking a straw out of his apron and setting it on the table. 

The man smiles once again. “Thank you, Tokiya.”

Hearing his name fall from the man’s lips made his stomach twist. This man belonged somewhere else. He may as well as be a model. He was gorgeous. He could also very well be an actor. Or a voice actor. He looked out of place in the normal, rundown diner. 

“Of course.” Tokiya says, after a pause that’s just a few seconds too long. “Are you ready to order?” 

Tokiya writes down the order as the man says it, carefully. He’s going to be the one making it, so he probably doesn’t even need to write it. It isn’t anything special. It’s one of the spicier things on the menu, but their cafe wasn’t anything crazy. It was just normal, average food- so while the spice would’ve been too much for Tokiya, it probably would’ve been fine for anyone else. 

Tokiya heads back to the kitchen to make the food. He was more in his element in the kitchen. By the time he had finished making it, he felt more comfortable walking back to the table. He was typically confident in his food and this dish was no exception. 

The man seemed to notice, though the changes were small. Just a small amount less of hesitation, and a tad amount less of awkwardness. 

“Thank you.” 

Tokiya would bow his head and turn back to the kitchen. The water glass was still mostly full. 

Tokiya had gotten a nice tip. 

Tokiya had gotten a nice tip the next night when the man returned. 

On the third night, next to the tip, he found a napkin. It had a number, and it had a name. Ren.

The next night, Ren wasn’t there. Which was probably good, because Tokiya was still deciding on when the right time to call was. He wanted to. When Ren wasn’t there, he decided he’d call the next day. He had it off, so he figured calling later at night might be safer. 

That was when he met his new regular. Of course, he had no idea at the time. 

This man was tough looking, to say the least. He had a very pronounced vibe that almost intimidated Tokiya. But what really did intimidate Tokiya was the way the new man was watching him. His eyes were just as captivating as Ren’s were- though instead of a crystal blue, they were mismatched. Pink and grey. He looked like he was wearing eyeliner. 

What was with all of these attractive guys choosing to come in while Tokiya was the waiter? It wasn’t fair. And this one had seemed to pick Tokiya out as the waiter immediately. Tokiya didn’t even have his apron on. 

Tokiya was on a not-really-a-break break. The kind where there weren’t enough people for him to clock out and really take his thirty, but he was taking his thirty and just working where he had to. 

This man was very distracting as well, and Tokiya felt a similar attraction to him as he had felt to Ren. But there was a substantial amount of intimidation, and Tokiya felt small when he approached the man. 

“Hello.” His voice was audible, but it was quieter than it normally was. “My name is Tokiya. I’ll be serving you tonight. Can I start you with something to drink?”

“Water.” Tokiya nods, but the man speaks again before he leaves, closing the menu. “I’m ready to order, too.”

“Of course. What can I get for you?”

The man orders a steak. Medium rare. But before Tokiya walks off the man makes another comment. 

“I know it’s a pain in the ass to cook. I’m not going to send it back if you cook it a little too much.” 

Tokiya nods. He thinks there’s a bit of an appreciative look on his face. Tokiya enjoys challenges, but the man is right. Medium rare isn’t the easiest if you aren’t skilled at cooking steaks, and in a cafe, steaks weren’t necessarily the most ordered item on the menu. 

They only had two, and they were both pretty cheap cuts of meat. Tokiya wonders sometimes why they had them. 

But Tokiya tries his damndest to make it a good steak. He’s proud of it, when he sends it out. Well, brings it out. 

The man nods in thanks and Tokiya heads back to his “break” spot. This man leaves him a surprisingly good tip as well. 

Tokiya calls Ren the next night. Ren answers. 

“Hello?”

Tokiya hesitates for a second, but forces himself to speak before Ren thinks no one’s there. “Hello. It’s Tokiya- from the cafe off of 68th.” 

Ren’s voice is full of amusement. “Of course. I was wondering if you’d call.” 

“It was a tempting offer. How could I pass it up?”

Ren chuckles. “Well I’m glad you took the chance. I’d like to get to know you, Tokiya. In a setting where you’re not taking my order.”

Tokiya’s directness didn’t go much further than what he had said last. He could still hear his heart beating, though he doesn’t think it showed in his voice. But Ren’s invitation wasn’t something he wanted to refuse. 

He did say that he needed friends. 

Tokiya isn’t completely sure what the offer is. He decided that he was going to take the chance anyways. 

“That sounds pleasant. I’d like to arrange that.”

“When is your next day off?”

Tokiya has to think. His schedule is ever changing. Today was Monday. 

“In two days. I’m off on Thursday.”

“Well, that works for me. There’s a bookstore near your cafe that’s open late at night. Are you familiar with it?”

Tokiya knows that must have been happenstance- but he was very familiar with that bookstore. Most of his small, pleasure purchases (and more than a few impulse purchases that he was ashamed to think about) had taken place in that bookstore. His answer is a bit more honest than he meant for it to be. “Very familiar.” 

Tokiya can picture Ren’s smile in his head. He can hear it in Ren’s voice. “Good. We can meet there. How does nine sound?” 

“Nine sounds good.” 

“Then I’m excited to see you, Tokiya. I hope you have a good rest of your night.”

Ren was back at Tokiya’s work the next night- but that night he was at the same table with the other man. The one with the steak. 

Tokiya was surprised. But he was at work, and he treated it as such. 

“Welcome back. I’m Tokiya and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I start you with something to drink?”

They both look at him. Ren’s trying, and failing, to suppress a smile. Tokiya’s face turns a bit red. 

“I guess you both probably know my name.” He mumbles. Ren still seems very amused. 

“Just a water for me.” Ren says, and he glances at the other man’s face. 

“Water.” 

Tokiya nods. He comes back a moment later with two glasses, laying down two straws. He makes a mental note that Ren opens his, and the other man entirely ignores it. 

Both men order the same meal they had before.

That was easy enough.

Tokiya could have asked his coworker for help, but he ends up making both of their meals himself. There aren’t any other customers, so it isn’t an overly difficult task. He brings them out at the same time. 

“Not to distract from your… busy schedule.” Ren comments, glancing around. The entire lobby area they’re seated in is empty, save for his coworker, sitting in a booth at the end and looking at his phone. “But I thought I’d introduce you to my friend. Ranmaru.” Ranmaru looks up for a second. He had already started eating. He nods, but returns to his food. His focus was clearly elsewhere. Tokiya was more amused than offended. “Though I’ve heard you’ve already met.”

“For a moment. I served him a few nights ago.” Tokiya nods himself. He feels a bit strange, talking about Ranmaru in the third person. Especially right after learning his name- but Ranmaru doesn’t seem to mind. 

Ren smiles, and Tokiya gives a slight one back, but then retreats so they can eat their food. His coworker shoots him a knowing look, and Tokiya shoots him one that says, ‘shut up.’

He waits in the kitchen until it’s time to check them out. He notices once they’re gone that there’s a tip amount that seems absurdly large for two people eating not-so-expensive meals. 

Neither of them show up the next night, but Tokiya does get a text from Ren. 

“would you mind if ranmaru joined us on thursday? I think he’d like to get to know you better too. of course if you’d rather it just be you and me i’m not complaining ;)”

Tokiya has to stare at his phone for a second. He felt his face heat up, which was dumb. But he found that just thinking of Ren had started to do that to him. He had no idea why he was so smitten. 

Ranmaru didn’t affect him as badly- but Ranmaru didn’t seem to be an ungodly flirt like Ren. And Tokiya couldn’t deny his attraction to both men. 

Tokiya would scold himself. They were probably taken. Or straight. Or both. 

Tokiya didn’t crush easily, but when he did start crushing on anyone it seemed to hit him hard. This was a perfect example. 

Tokiya would send back his reply, being careful not to look at Ren’s text for too long, lest it fluster him again. 

“Ranmaru can come. I’m interested to learn more about him, too.” 

That was a safe answer. He wasn’t going to address Ren’s flirt. 

Ren rebounds quickly. 

“sounds good then :) see you tomorrow”

It doesn’t surprise Tokiya that Ren is an emoji person. 

Tomorrow comes quickly. Tokiya dresses in normal people clothing and meets up with them at the library. 

It was a nice night. They got along surprisingly quickly with Tokiya. Tokiya would at least consider them friends by the time he left. They hadn’t stayed in the library for long, choosing instead to go get food. Of course, it ended up being at Tokiya’s diner. Tokiya didn’t really mind. It wasn’t his first time eating there on his day off. 

And he got a discount. 

The tip was still very decent, despite the fact that Tokiya tried to cover it and was denied. But Tokiya does notice that while it’s certainly more than they could be expected to pay- it didn’t quite rival Tokiya’s tips. 

Tokiya would wait until they were out of the restaurant before addressing it. “You both know that you don’t need to be so generous with my tips when I’m working, right? I appreciate it, but I’d imagine it gets expensive.”

“Don’t worry about that, Tokiya. We pay for service.” Tokiya can see Ren’s smile in the dark. 

“Then you’re paying entirely too much. I pour your water and hand you your food.”

“And you make it. I believe that constitutes as two people’s jobs. So it’s only fair that you get tipped twice as much.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works, Ren.”

Ren shrugs. “Like I said. Don’t worry about it. We’re tipping you exactly what we think you deserve.” 

That’s - a nice sentiment. But Tokiya’s overtaken by the thought that crosses his mind. Now that the night was nearing an end, he’s starting to think that they are both taken. And he thinks they’re with each other. 

Ren often casually spoke for both himself and Ranmaru. And he did small things, things that Tokiya would miss if he were less detail oriented. The soft look in Ranmaru’s eyes when he looked at Ren. The very small smile Ren wore when he looked at Ranmaru. The way that sometimes when they walked, Ren would brush his shoulder against Ranmaru’s. 

So Tokiya was half and half. They probably weren’t straight. And they were probably taken. 

Tokiya wishes that made it easier to get over them. 

It didn’t. 

Ren and Ranmaru would actually walk Tokiya back to his house. Tokiya would insist that he could walk there himself, but Ren would insist that it’s late. 

Ranmaru would talk about the increased crime rate. He’d back up Ren. 

Tokiya wouldn’t argue much after that. He still didn’t think that it was necessary, though.

They were his regulars for quite a long time. 

At first it wasn’t anything constant. A few days a week. Which was still very often for a restaurant. Ren had Tokiya text him his schedule each week, and they’d show up a few days that they knew Tokiya would be working. Often times it was both of them. Sometimes it was just Ren. Other times, just Ranmaru. 

He’d start taking his “breaks” with them. Sitting across from them with whatever he had made himself for his lunch. He guesses it was more like a midnight snack. 

Tokiya didn’t mind when they stayed later than most of the other customers. He could clean around them. His coworker didn’t really care enough about his job to tell Tokiya that they couldn’t. And it wasn’t like they were ever in the way. 

They still got out at a decent time. 

It was the first night that Ren had happened to stay until close when he had grabbed Tokiya’s arm when Tokiya had begun to make his walk home. 

“Toki, wait. Do you walk back from here every night?” 

“For about four years. Yes.”

“All by yourself?” Ren frowns. 

“Yes. Nothing’s happened yet.” 

Ren sighs. “Let me walk you home.”

It was clearly not a question. Tokiya still treats it as one. 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I insist.” Ren begins walking, and Tokiya walks beside him. 

Tokiya guesses if it were just this once. 

It was not just that once. 

Ranmaru had showed up the next night, and he had stayed until close. Tokiya would finish, closing the building, and he’d raise an eyebrow at Ranmaru. 

Ranmaru would jerk his head in the direction Tokiya normally walked. “C’mon.” 

Tokiya would sigh. “Did Ren put you up to this?”

“He just told me he was worried ‘bout you going by yourself this late at night. I don’t blame him. There are a lot of fucked up people. And you don’t live in the best area, either.”

“I’ll tell you exactly what I told Ren.” Tokiya does start walking, but he’s shaking his head. “I’ve done this for four years and I’ve encountered no issues.”

“Maybe. But the problem with this is that the first time something happens could be the last. And no offense, Toki, but you’re not the most intimidating guy.” 

“Are you saying you don’t think I could beat someone up?”

“I’m saying I don’t think you could beat someone up.”

Despite himself, Tokiya laughs. Ranmaru scoffs, but it’s an amused sound. 

Tokiya doesn’t argue further. But he might have had he known that Ren and Ranmaru were going to start showing up every night he worked. 

He didn’t mind the company walking home. Honestly, the next best thing to having someone to come home to was someone to wish him a goodnight before he went home. But Tokiya felt bad making them walk him home every night. 

Tokiya would bring it up about a week in, on a night where both Ren and Ranmaru were escorting him. 

“You guys really don’t need to walk me home every night. I can’t even imagine how much of your time I’m taking up.”

“Don’t worry so much about it, Toki. We’re more than happy to escort you home.” Ren smiles at him, squeezing his shoulder. 

“I already told you, it’s dangerous. We’re just tryin’ to help.”

“And I appreciate it. But what about nights where only one of you walk me home? That still leaves you walking by yourself.” 

They both look at Tokiya, and Tokiya narrows his eyes. 

“I’m not that much smaller than either of you!” 

“I’m not tryin’ to offend you, Tokiya, but I don’t think you’d be able to hold your own very well in a fight.”

“And you’re telling me you can?” Tokiya huffs.

“I have an idea.” Ren says, and both Ranmaru and Tokiya look at him. Tokiya notices that even Ranmaru seems a little skeptical. “Hold still, Toki.” 

Tokiya stops walking, and his eyes are still a bit narrowed. He really doesn’t know how much he trusts Ren in this situation. Ren steps behind him, and his movements are quick enough that they catch Tokiya off guard. 

Tokiya’s hands are behind his back. One is pressed against his lower back, with Ren’s hand around his wrist. Ren’s hand wraps around his other wrist, but his arm is higher up on his back. It doesn’t hurt, but if Ren were to press further, Tokiya imagines it might. Tokiya also notices that Ren’s pressed against his back. 

“If you can break away from me, we won’t escort you home as often. It doesn’t count if you hurt yourself in the process, and I’ll let go if I think you’re about to.”

Ranmaru raises an eyebrow- but it’s at Ren. He doesn’t say anything about it, though. Tokiya sighs. He half heartedly tries to pull his hands back, but they stay in place. 

“Fine. You’re right. I don’t think I’d do well in a fight.” Tokiya grumbles. Ren lets go of Tokiya’s wrists. Tokiya glances down at his arms, but beyond the fact that he’s certain he can still feel Ren’s touch, there’s no marks. 

“I’m glad you didn’t struggle.” Ren says, squeezing Tokiya’s shoulder. “I don’t think you could’ve gotten out of that. It’s a lot of being prepared. Or having quick reflexes. Once you’re in trouble, you have to know exactly how to get out of it, or there isn’t much you can do.”

“You sound like a self-defense instructor.” Ranmaru mutters. 

“Well, not everyone can just power through their problems, Ran.”

“Tch.” 

Tokiya is quiet. Ren reaches out, squeezing Tokiya’s bicep. They’re only a minute or two from his house. “I hope I didn’t scare or upset you, Toki. But I like having you as a friend. I’d really hate if something happened to you that we may have been able to prevent.”

Tokiya sighs. “I know.”

They reach his home. Ren smiles softly at him. 

“Goodnight, Toki.”

“‘Night.” Ranmaru grunts. 

Tokiya gives a half hearted smile. “Goodnight, you two. Be safe.” 

“You too.” 

A few months later, Ren confesses. 

He had asked Tokiya to come over to his house. By this point Tokiya had confirmation that Ren and Ranmaru were an item. It sounded like he was in highschool, using that phrase, but it was accurate. Tokiya hadn’t gotten over his feelings, and sometimes he worried that they could see it in his eyes when Tokiya looked at them. Or how sometimes Ren could still say things that made him make a fool out of himself.

Actually, Tokiya thinks Ren does that on purpose.

Tokiya thinks he’s fairly obvious with Ren. He had been a lot smoother with Ranmaru, until he found out that Ranmaru enjoyed playing bass. Tokiya asked Ranmaru to teach him. 

That went on for one lesson. Tokiya had gotten too nervous, especially when Ranmaru choose his favorite bass to teach Tokiya on. Tokiya was surprised he didn’t have a heart attack, spending an hour with Ranmaru so close to him. Ranmaru’s hands over Tokiya’s, showing him the best way to pluck the strings to get the best sound and to not ruin his hands. Ranmaru had told Tokiya at the end of the lesson that he had done well, but Tokiya hadn’t asked for a second one. He wanted to learn, but he’d never get over his feelings if Ranmaru taught him. 

But Tokiya had still been blindsided when Ren had asked him to sit down, looked Tokiya and in the eyes and asked. “Toki, do you have feelings for us?”

Ren’s face was entirely serious, but Tokiya is so taken off guard. Tokiya had no idea where this conversation was going, and the panic would show on his face. 

“I’m sorry.” Tokiya’s eyes are wide. “I really wasn’t trying to make it obvious. I care for you two, I don’t-” He’s been having trouble looking at them, but he has to look away at this point. “I’d really like to stay your friend. I hope I didn’t do anything to ruin that.” 

Tokiya was in one of the two chairs in their living room. Ranmaru was on the couch, on the far end from Tokiya, and Ren was in the chair, facing him. Ren stands, moving over to the couch, sitting on the end nearest to Tokiya. He reaches out, touching Tokiya’s shoulder. 

Ren’s voice is soft, but no less serious. “I’m not bringing this up to shame you, Tokiya. Neither of us are. But I’d like you to give me a straight answer.” 

Tokiya swallows hard. He still isn’t sure where Ren is going with this. “Yes. I-” Tokiya chews on his bottom lip. He barely notices Ren’s frown when he starts, but Ren doesn’t interrupt him. “I have feelings for both of you.” Tokiya’s voice is very quiet, but both men seem to catch it. 

“Then I’d like for you to hear me out completely before you form any opinions.” Ren says, his voice quiet as well. “Ranmaru and I have spoken about this more than a few times recently and we’re both in agreement. We both have feelings for you as well, Tokiya.” Tokiya notices Ranmaru nod behind Ren. Tokiya hadn’t noticed Ranmaru watching him closely. “We’d like to invite you to join our relationship. Not… quite an open relationship. We’d like to keep it closed, between us three. But only if you’re comfortable with that.”

Tokiya looks at Ren with a careful expression. It was something he had thought of in a brief, ‘wouldn’t it be nice if’ sort of passing, but he hadn’t genuinely considered it an idea. He speaks after a moment, still unsure. “But you two are comfortable with it? It’s not my relationship I’m inviting someone into.”

“I’d argue with your phrasing.” Ranmaru says gruffly. “We aren’t just inviting someone. It’s you. We wouldn’t bring it up if we weren’t hopin’ you’d say yes.”

Tokiya has to simply stare for another minute. He nods, slowly. “I’d like to try this.” He hopes he doesn’t disappoint. 

Ren finally smiles. Tokiya lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I am very, very glad to hear that.” 

Tokiya thinks that he can hear joy in Ren’s voice, and it warms his heart beyond belief. Ren’s hand is still on Tokiya’s arm, and he squeezes lightly. Tokiya smiles back, but he’s still coming down from the panic. 

Ren’s smile turns sheepish. “Sorry if I scared you, Toki. That really wasn’t my intention. I just needed to know your answer.”

“I understand. Now.” Tokiya says. His posture relaxes a bit as he slowly lets the panic out of his system. “You really have a way with getting straight to the point.” 

Ren rubs Tokiya’s back. 

The relationship had been progressing nicely. But Tokiya finally asked the question that he didn’t even know was important.

Tokiya was at Ren’s house, though he learned that Ren and Ranmaru shared a house. Tokiya had been in the relationship for a few months, but he was still in his own apartment. Ren had told him before that he was welcome to move in, but he wasn’t going to rush Tokiya. Tokiya was still unsure- he often needed to be led in the relationship. He hadn’t been in enough to know what he was doing. But right now his head was in Ren’s lap, and Ren was messing with his hair. Ranmaru was messing around with his bass on one of the chairs. 

“Ren.” Tokiya opens his eyes, looking up at Ren. He bites the corner of his lip, but Ren quickly moves a hand down, running a thumb gently under Tokiya’s lip until Tokiya releases it. Tokiya doesn’t know why he was so nervous to ask his question, but something urged him not to. That only made him want to ask it more. “Why are you two always up at night? When do you two sleep? Or work?” 

Ren stills, and he looks at Ranmaru. Tokiya notices Ranmaru’s playing stop, and it makes Tokiya sit up, so he can look at both of them better. 

Ren looks like a child being caught for sneaking into the cookie jar. Ranmaru’s not looking at anything. 

“I think we have to tell him, Ran.”

Tokiya hadn’t understood why he had avoided that question for so long. He knew a lot about Ren and Ranmaru, but their schedules before eight PM and after 6 AM weren’t one of them. He’s even more nervous know to find out why he hadn’t wanted to ask.

“You’re right.” Ranmaru mumbles, setting down his bass.

Tokiya was about to find out. 

“Tokiya this is going to sound crazy.” Tokiya pays special attention when Ren uses his full name. It must be serious. “Tokiya, what are your beliefs on supernatural creatures?”

Tokiya blinks. But Ren’s entirely serious expression, and Ranmaru’s matching one, has Tokiya answering honestly. “I’m not sure. I don’t know that I really believe in them, but I’m not the type to try to test the spirits, either. No… ouija boards or mirror games for me.”

“Then this might be hard to believe.” Ren sighs. He seems to have trouble continuing, so Ranmaru takes over. 

“Tokiya.” Tokiya almost winces. He doesn’t like it when they use his full name. “If we were going to try to get you to believe something totally fuckin’ insane, would you want us to tell you or show you? What would help you believe us?”

Tokiya wants to tell them to just… tell him. But if they were really trying to get him to believe them- “I think you’d have to show me.” Tokiya says quietly. 

Ren nods. They both get quiet for a minute. “This- might seem silly. But I think this is one of the easiest ways.” Ren turns to Tokiya, and he grins, widely, showing off his teeth. Ranmaru sighs. It’s stressed, but a little amused. Tokiya focuses on Ren’s smile, raising an eyebrow. It’s nice, but he wasn’t sure that he got it.

“I don’t understand. ...Are you dentists?” 

Tokiya turns to Ranmaru, genuinely confused. Ranmaru scoffs, hiding the noise with his hand. 

“I’m not done yet, Toki.” Ren says gently. When Tokiya’s attention is back on Ren, his grin returns- but it’s different. His eyes are different, too. The first thing Tokiya notices are Ren’s teeth. Particularly his canine teeth. The already sharp teeth have grown into what Tokiya can only describe as fangs. Sharp and intimidating. But Tokiya freezes when he looks into Ren’s eyes. He’s transfixed, drawn into them. He physically can’t bring himself to look away. Ren blinks, and whatever spell had been there has dropped, but Tokiya doesn’t look away. 

“What’s…?” Tokiya blinks. He’s confused. He’s a little panicked. 

“We’re vampires, Toki.” Ranmaru says quietly. 

“That’s why we aren’t out during the day.” Ren’s voice matches Ranmaru’s tone.

“And why we don’t work. We’ve been alive long enough that we don’t need to.” Ranmaru finishes. 

Tokiya is silent for a long moment. 

“Are you afraid of us, Toki?” Ren asks quietly. 

Tokiya shakes his head. “I don’t know how to take any of this. But I- I still know you, right?” It’s a genuine question. 

Ren’s hand touches Tokiya’s shoulder, carefully. “Of course, Toki. How we act around you is who we are.”

“Then I know you wouldn’t hurt me. So I’m not afraid of you.” Tokiya decides. Ren sighs softly. 

“We wouldn’t. Never.” Ren lies his head on Tokiya’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around Tokiya’s chest. 

It wasn’t a lot of proof, but Tokiya didn’t think they were lying. It was proof enough, because he already trusted them. He also wasn’t sure he wanted anymore proof, anyways.

“I have questions.” Tokiya says, after a second. Ren still hasn’t let go of him. 

“Shoot.” Ranmaru says. 

“I’m not a real horror movie buff. The only types of vampires I know drink blood, burn to ash in the sun, seduce women and are killed by wooden stakes. What kind are you?”

“So… Dracula.” Ranmaru sighs. “Well. We don’t burn in the sun. We get sunburnt real easy, and bad headaches. Sort of like we’re… allergic to direct sunlight, I guess. If we’re inside, we’re fine, day or not. As I’m sure you saw with Ren, we’re… convincing. To say the least. It’s how we usually get blood. Animal blood doesn’t work, and we don’t drink from people, so we sneak into hospitals. Blood trucks. Shit like that. Normal food can actually control thirst, so we try to eat normal meals. We don’t really need sleep, but life gets real boring when you’re awake all the time, so we usually sleep when the sun’s out. Like you. And as far as the wooden stakes go, I can’t speak with any real experience, obviously. But I’m pretty sure those still work. Most normal stuff doesn’t, but pure silver can hurt. Not like… silverware, but a silver bullet to the heart or the brain could probably take us out.”

Tokiya nods. 

“You’re takin’ this a lot better than we expected.” Ranmaru comments. “Are you really okay?”

Tokiya nods again. “I think so. It’s surreal. I don’t see why you’d lie to me about this. But I also can’t be angry that you didn’t tell me earlier. And I’ve already told you that I’m not afraid of you. So what else is there to be?”

“That’s the most rational way I think I could ever imagine anyone takin’ the news that vampires exist.”

“And that their boyfriends are vampires.” Ren adds. 

“If you want me to panic, I’m sure I could muster something up. Maybe a dramatic scream? Go running outside at-” Tokiya glances at the watch on his wrist. “10:13 at night. Calling for a witch hunt. Vampire hunt? Oh God, I’d get locked up.” Tokiya snorts. 

Ranmaru shakes his head, amused. Ren lets out a weak laugh against his shoulder. 

Their lives continued on. Tokiya treated them no differently. It was almost easy to forget that they even were vampires- it wasn’t as if they threatened him. As far as he could tell, that’s the main reason he’d be reminded. 

Ren and Ranmaru didn’t show up to the cafe because Tokiya was supposed to take an earlier shift. And he had- but his manager had asked him to work a double because someone else had called out sick. Tokiya didn’t mind the extra money. 

When Tokiya had locked up the cafe, he contemplated calling Ren or Ranmaru. They’d spoken to him enough times about not walking alone that he was sure they’d appreciate him not walking alone. 

Ranmaru’s comment would ring through Tokiya’s head. “The first time something happens could be the last.”

Tokiya still couldn’t bring himself to justify making Ren or Ranmaru, or both of them, leave their home to walk all the way to the cafe, to walk him home. And Tokiya was tired. He was just going to collapse in his bed, anyways. He’d walk quickly. 

That was the plan. Until he felt a sharp pain against the back of his head. 

It wasn’t enough to knock him out, but he fell over, already crawling away from the attacker. He’d feel his cellphone ring, god, what timing- and he’d take it out of his pocket, answering it. It wouldn’t last long, because the man standing over Tokiya would step on his phone with a crunch that would make Tokiya’s crawling more frantic. But the sidewalk was moving underneath him, and he couldn’t get to his feet to run. He just hoped that he had answered a call from Ren or Ranmaru, and not some spam call. He doubted the spam caller would know something was wrong. 

Tokiya feels a hand grab his hair. Tokiya feels his face slam into the ground, and he groans in pain. It was almost three in the morning. There were no people on the streets. Tokiya hears the man above him sniff, his knee on Tokiya’s back, his hand pressing Tokiya’s head against the ground, and his face right above Tokiya’s head. 

“Mmm, you smell like vampire.” The man purrs. He grinds his knee into Tokiya’s back and Tokiya whimpers. “But you’re nothing but a bag of blood. A scared, little animal.” He grinds Tokiya’s face into the ground. 

Tokiya manages to wonder if this is why Ren and Ranmaru had gotten so intent on walking him home. This man clearly wasn’t human. Maybe being around Ren and Ranmaru put some sort of target over Tokiya’s head. 

Or maybe Tokiya just had the world’s worst luck.

Tokiya would ask Ren and Ranmaru, if he got the chance. God, he hoped he’d get the chance. 

The man would pull Tokiya’s head up, hard enough to hurt Tokiya’s neck. Tokiya’s trying to struggle. The man is so strong. It reminds him of Ren, when Ren held his hands back. Except this time it hurt. He wondered if vampires had super strength. If that’s even what this guy was. 

Tokiya feels the man’s mouth by his neck. “What pretty skin. Your vamps haven’t even bitten into you, yet? Their loss.” Tokiya can hear a grin in this man’s voice. It isn’t the same as when he hears it in Ren’s. Tokiya closes his eyes. “Y’know, I can get blood from anywhere I want, but I’ve always liked the neck. Anyone who’s survived it told me it hurts the worst.” 

The man’s teeth have barely pierced the fragile skin on Tokiya’s neck when Tokiya feels the pressure release. Tokiya crawls forward, pitifully, and he feels himself being picked up. At first he’s afraid. It’s dark, and he’s worried that he may have been saved from one danger to be thrown into another- but the way he’s cradled, pressed into someone’s chest, assures him that the pain is over. 

Ranmaru was right. Tokiya wasn’t a fighter.

Tokiya hears yelling, but he’s being moved away from the scene. Whoever is holding him has him held tightly in a bridal style carry. 

It takes a minute for Tokiya to realize that he’s being spoken to. 

“Toki, please talk to me.”

“Ren?” 

“Yeah, baby, it’s me.” Ren’s voice is soothing. There’s something else to it, but Tokiya doesn’t bother to try to figure it out right now. “Where does it hurt, honey?” 

“My face.” Almost as if he just remembers, Tokiya brings up a hand. He’s half hidden his face in Ren’s chest as it is, but he covers the rest of his face with his hand, hiding it. “And my back. And my head.” 

Ren has to shift Tokiya, and Tokiya feels Ren reach into Tokiya’s pocket. Vampires must be stronger, because Ren isn’t having trouble supporting most of Tokiya with one arm. Or Ren’s just really strong. 

Ren must have found what he was looking for- and Tokiya guesses it was his keys, because Tokiya hears a clicking sound and the door opens. Ren takes the keys, steps in, and closes it behind him. He takes long enough to set the keys down on a table before he shifts Tokiya so that he’s being held in both of Ren’s arms again. 

“Do you need a minute, Toki, or can I start making sure you’re okay.” 

Tokiya’s answer is to grip onto Ren’s shirt, pressing his face closer to Ren’s chest, ignoring the pain of his scraped up face. 

Ren sits down on Tokiya’s couch, setting Tokiya on his lap and moving his arms so that he can wrap them around Tokiya. He’s careful of Tokiya’s back. One of his hands raise, carefully brushing through Tokiya’s hair. Tokiya can tell he’s checking Tokiya’s head. Ren winces, and Tokiya imagines that he’s found blood.

Tokiya never asked about blood lust, but if Ren is bothered by the blood in a vampiric way, he doesn’t show it. Tokiya hears someone try the door, and before Tokiya can react, Ren mutters, “It’s just Ran.”

Ranmaru closes the door, locking it behind him, and he walks up to Ren and Tokiya. 

“How bad is it?” Ranmaru asks. His voice is guarded, but there’s too much anger to completely conceal. Tokiya hopes it isn’t at him. 

“He hasn’t let me check yet.” Ren says. His voice is even gentler, compared to Ranmaru’s. 

“C’mon, Toki. I’m sorry but you’ve gotta stand up. We need to make sure you’re okay.” 

Tokiya’s hand flexes against Ren’s shirt, but Ren sits up, adjusting Tokiya who finally, and reluctantly, lets go of Ren. “Can you stand?” Tokiya doesn’t give an answer. He sets his feet on the ground and stands up, unsteady. He stays on his feet. Ren stands behind him, carefully moving Tokiya to a more open area a few steps away. “I’m going to take off your shirt, okay?” 

Tokiya doesn’t nod. It would hurt. But he can’t respond right now. Ren is very careful when he takes Tokiya’s shirt off. He tries to make sure it touches as little skin as possible. Especially when it goes over his head. The way he’s standing, Ren is in front of him and Ranmaru is behind him. 

Ranmaru makes a noise. It sounds like a growl. 

“His back’s real bruised already. Fucker.” 

Ren carefully tilts Tokiya’s face towards him. Tokiya can feel that at least one cheek is all scratched up. He can see through both eyes, at least. “There’s not much swelling. Cuts. It’s going to hurt for a few days, Toki, but I don’t think there’s any real damage. The back of his head was bleeding though. We should watch out for that.”

“Doesn’t that bother you? If it’s not serious-” 

“Please don’t suggest that we leave you alone right now, Tokiya. Of course blood affects us. But right now we’re both too worried about you to let something like a pesky annoyance stop us.” Ren quickly brushes his thumb over Tokiya’s cheek, but then both boys get to looking over Tokiya’s chest, and his back. 

At first, Tokiya can’t figure out what they’re trying to find. But then Ren stops at his neck. “I think this is it. It doesn’t look like he managed to bite down. Good job, Ran.” Ranmaru grunts. Tokiya glances at Ren’s face, and it changes for second. He looks away from Ren’s eyes before he can get trapped in Ren’s gaze. Ren drops his head, and he presses a kiss against Tokiya’s bare shoulder. He then moves over the spot where the other man had tried to bite him, and Tokiya feels Ren’s tongue run across the skin. Tokiya shudders. It felt weird. 

Tokiya tries to crane his head to see his neck, despite the futility of it, once Ren’s head has left the area. Ren straightens Tokiya’s head. “I healed over the bite.” He explains. 

“Healed over?”

“We aren’t naturally gifted to heal. It isn’t in our nature. But because we aren’t strictly built to kill, it’s a trick we have for healing over bite marks. It still leaves scars, but it closes wounds and prevents temptation from leaving a bleeding wound. And not all vampires know where veins are. It’s saved lives, more than once. Healing other’s marks is… disgusting. But I’d rather have a bad taste in my mouth than leave it on you.”

“What would have happened if he had bit me?”

“Assuming he hadn’t killed you then?” Ranmaru says, his voice still seething. Tokiya flinches, and he feels Ranmaru press a kiss against Tokiya’s shoulder. 

“He likely would have marked you.” Ren says, his voice grim. 

“What does that do?” Tokiya asks. Ranmaru hasn’t stopped pressing small kisses up Tokiya’s shoulder, against the back of Tokiya’s neck. 

“It does several things. It warns other vampires, mostly. Vampires get angry when you kill their marked. Usually you mark people you want to keep. Or ones you care about.”

“Then why would he mark me?”

“Because we haven’t.” Ranmaru sighs. “It’s not the only reason vampires mark people. When you mark someone you always know where they’re at. Least the general location of them.”

“And certain feelings come through, from the marked to the marker. Like fear, or pain. A marking is often meant for protection.”

“Then why he’d mark me still doesn’t make sense.”

“Tokiya.” Ranmaru says, tiredly. “If he marked you he’d know where you’re at. He’d have taken you from us, basically.”

“The other reason vampires mark people is possession.” Ren says quietly. 

It finally made sense to Tokiya. Well, at least he felt like they didn’t view him as an object, he guesses. 

“But because we’re on the topic.” Ren runs his thumbs down the sides of Tokiya’s neck, frowning. “Tokiya. Can we mark you?”

“What?” Tokiya blinks. 

“Not for possession, Toki. We want to make sure you’re safe.” 

Tokiya’s face is unsure. Ranmaru presses another kiss to Tokiya’s shoulder. It doesn’t quite match his low tone. “Ren’s askin’ Toki. I’m not.” 

Tokiya swallows. His voice is smaller. “Is… is it going to hurt?

“We’re going to try to make sure it doesn’t, Toki. We’ll do our best.”

Ranmaru had made it clear enough that Tokiya was going to be marked. Tokiya didn’t have much of a reason to say no to Ren. 

It was kind of Ren to pretend like Tokiya had a choice. 

“Fine.” 

Ranmaru would press his lips against the side of Tokiya’s arm, right below his shoulder. Ren would press a kiss against the crook of Tokiya’s neck. Out of reflex, Tokiya grabs Ren’s arm. Ren is patient, and pulls away to look at Tokiya. 

“He said that the neck hurt. Is that true?” 

“Not if you know what you’re doing.” Ren presses a kiss against Tokiya’s forehead. 

“If Ren’s good at anythin’, it’s biting people. You’re not going to be the only one in the room that’s marked.” Ranmaru has pulled away from Tokiya’s shoulder, and reaches his arm out, and when Tokiya looks down, he sees two faint dots on the inside of Ranmaru’s forearm. Ren pulls back the edge of his long sleeved shirt to show Tokiya the two dots he had, on his wrist. 

Tokiya swallows, and he says in a tired voice, “Maybe you should’ve led with that first.” 

“You’re right.” Ren relents quickly. “And we’re sorry if we made you feel in anyway that we wanted this for anything but your protection and wellbeing. Just the same as we feel for each other.” 

“You ready?” Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya’s bicep. 

“Not really. But I don’t think I’m ever going to be.”

Ren sighs, but he kisses down Tokiya’s throat, landing once again at the crook of his neck. Ranmaru’s back by Tokiya’s shoulder. Tokiya’s tense, but because of that, they aren’t doing anything. 

Tokiya eventually untenses. He isn’t sure if it’s exhaustion from holding himself so tightly or if he’s actually relaxed any. 

Tokiya knows that the bites are coming because Ren squeezes Ranmaru’s hand, and Tokiya can feel Ren move. The bites come so quickly he can hardly react. 

They don’t feel anything like Tokiya had expected. 

Tokiya’s face turns bright red very quickly. Because at first, it stung. It stung like how he would imagine a bee sting would be, though he’d never actually been stung by a bee. But then his knees got a bit shaky, and his stomach started doing flips, and he’d have to hold on to Ren. 

It felt good. Too good, honestly. Tokiya would bite down hard on his lip because he doesn’t trust any sounds that he might make. Ren pulls away first. He licks his lips, and he raises an eyebrow at Tokiya’s face- however that must look. He ducks his head to close Tokiya’s bite wound. Ranmaru has less self-restraint, but he pulls himself off of Tokiya a few seconds later. After Ranmaru’s pulled away for a second, he closes his own bite wound. 

“Jesus, Ren, I would’ve liked a warning.” 

Tokiya says breathlessly. He’s leaning against Ren. Ren deserves it. Tokiya expected pain. Tokiya almost wishes it was just pain, because he was red-faced, and panting, and a complete mess and it was unbelievably embarrassing. 

“I’ve- gotta be honest, Toki.” Ren says, his arms moving to wrap around Tokiya. “I had no idea you’d react like that. I don’t think I’ve ever bitten anyone that reacted like that.” 

Tokiya smacks Ren’s arm, lightly. “That isn’t making me feel any better.”

“It’s not a bad thing.” Ren purrs, nipping at Tokiya’s ear. “It’s hot as hell, actually.”

“Tell me about it.” Ranmaru mumbles, wrapping his hands around Tokiya’s waist from behind him. Tokiya huffs. 

Ren and Ranmaru stayed at Tokiya’s apartment that night. 

The next night Tokiya had work. They walked him there, and stayed his entire shift. They ordered two meals. Tokiya shakes his head at them every once in a while. 

He appreciated their concern, and it was valid. But he was bored out of his mind at the cafe for eight hours, and he actually had work to do. They were just sitting there. 

But when he closed down the restaurant, they pulled him in a different direction. Towards their home. Tokiya didn’t argue with them. He wasn’t sure, but he thinks that they could feel his discomfort. The memory of his attack was still fresh in his mind. They go into their home. 

Later that night, Ren finally asks Tokiya about what’s on his mind. 

“Toki, you look like you want to ask us something.”

“How are you able to read me so easily?” Tokiya mumbles. 

“No changing the subject.” 

Tokiya’s face goes a bit red. He’s not quite looking at Ren, which gets Ranmaru’s attention as well. 

“I guess it’s a little late to ask about this. But. Is it… the same? Drinking from blood bags or from… people?”

Ren has to put his hand over his mouth. Tokiya goes redder. Ren does have to take a second, but then he drops his hand, rubbing Tokiya’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t mean to laugh. But don’t feel like you have to do anything.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

Ren sighs. “Of course it’s different, Toki. It’s like… stale soda.”

“Or vegan meat.” Ranmaru grunts, making a face. 

“Then why haven’t you asked me yet?” Tokiya’s eyebrows would furrow. “Wouldn’t that be a big drawing point into falling for a human?”

“Toki.” Ren sighs again. “We talked about this last night. We’re trying to make you feel like an equal and not like our possession.”

Tokiya frowns. “That’s not quite how I meant it. I mean- if you think of me as an equal, then I’m not doing my part.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Toki?” Ranmaru sighs. 

“You marked me for protection. What am I offering? I-” Tokiya cuts himself off, but Ranmaru narrows his eyes. 

“You what, Tokiya?”

Tokiya tries to keep his voice even. “I’m already not going to live as long as either of you. You haven’t expressly said it, but you don’t get enough money to live without needing to work if you haven’t been thirty for god knows how long. At least give me this.”

“Tokiya.” Ren says softly. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Tokiya still hasn’t fully accepted it. The idea still bothered him, a lot more than he was letting on right now. He’d bite down on his lip. Ren reaches aver, running his thumb gently under Tokiya’s lip, but Tokiya doesn’t relent, and Ren’s eyebrows furrow. 

“If it’s upsetting you this much, I think we should.” Ren says quietly. 

Tokiya shakes his head too quickly. 

“It’s only gonna get worse the longer you hold it in. The situation’s not changing.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tokiya says bitterly, looking down at the floor. “I- fine. If you really want to know what I think-” Tokiya’s hands clench into tight fists. “I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about the fact that I’ve found people I care about, and I’m never going to have them grow old with me. How I’m going to be miserable and dying and you’re just going to have to watch me, if you’re even still there.” He clenches his jaw. His voice had gotten… passionate. Angry wasn’t quite the right word for it. “This isn’t why I brought this up. Ren-” Tokiya speaks as Ren mimics the position he did when he told Tokiya what they were. The position Ren often took when Tokiya was upset, with his arms wrapped around Tokiya’s chest and his head lying on Tokiya’s shoulder. Tokiya’s voice had broken on Ren’s name. “I don’t want to cry.” He says resolutely. His voice is on the edge. “And if you keep holding me like that I’m going to.”

Ranmaru’s hand moves up, gently petting through the top of Tokiya’s hair, carefully avoiding the back of Tokiya’s head. 

“Ranmaru, you’re not helping.” Tokiya’s eyes were blurry, and some of the barely contained tears had spilled over. Ren would just squeeze him tighter. 

They’re quiet, and Tokiya is as well. He gets to the edge of sobs, but manages to hold himself back. 

“Tokiya.” Ren’s voice is careful and quiet. “If it makes you feel better, we- we’ll figure something out. But it’s going to take a lot of communication.” 

“If it goes bad, even once, we’re done.” Ranmaru says. His voice is very final. 

Tokiya nods. 

“But not tonight. We don’t need to talk about this tonight. Let’s just go cuddle in bed for right now, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

When they do talk about it is a few days later. They pushed it to Tokiya’s next day off, because they told him that they didn’t want to make him tired. 

“There are some rules, Toki.” They’re all sitting on the bed. Tokiya is cross-legged in the middle. Ranmaru has one leg bent, and one leg hanging off of the side of it. Ren is kneeling, his hands on his thighs. Ranmaru and Ren look serious. Tokiya’s nervous. 

He isn’t sure how much of it is from the idea, and how much is just from their looks, and their energy. It certainly doesn’t help. 

“If it hurts, you tell us to stop. Or if you start to feel unwell, or dizzy. If you can’t speak to us, push us.” Tokiya nods.

“Don’t forget that if you’re hurt or you’re scared we’re gonna know.” Ranmaru grunts. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell us. We’ve both got a lot of self control. We’re not going to frenzy on you, so don’t worry about us not stoppin’.”

“Even if you’re just uncomfortable. Don’t feel any obligation to do this Toki.”

Tokiya couldn’t admit this- but there were quite a few reasons that he was going to go through with this. The main one was genuinely that he wanted to give something back to them. And this felt important. 

He wanted to feel important to them. He wanted to give them something. Especially something that they couldn’t give each other. 

But he couldn’t lie to himself. 

There was a part of him, a physical part, that craved it. He felt crazy to even think it, but he wanted them to bite him. 

He was definitely crazy. But there were enough reasons beyond that to convince himself to do this. 

“We’re going to do this one at a time.” Ren says, watching Tokiya. “Do you have a preference?”

“Are you really going to make me choose?” Tokiya sighs. 

“You did ask for this.” Ranmaru mutters. 

Tokiya chews on his lip. He stops when he sees Ren begin to raise his hand. He expects Ren to lower it, but Ren doesn’t. He runs his thumb over Tokiya’s lower lip, and Tokiya winces a bit. 

“See?” Ren’s voice is scolding. “This is why I try to stop you.” Ren leans in, kissing Tokiya lightly. He frowns. “It’s a bad habit.” 

Tokiya sighs, “I know. But aren’t you also the one who tells me to not change the subject?”

“You noticed? I thought I was slick.” Ren smiles a bit. “But I still mean it.” 

“I know, Ren.” 

Tokiya does think through his decision for a second. He trusted both of them. He knew Ranmaru would likely show less restraint, and that may make Ren more comfortable, should Tokiya react fine. He also knew that Ren would be more gentle, and it sounds like he may be more experienced. 

“Ranmaru.” Tokiya says, his voice quiet. 

Ranmaru’s expression remains very serious. His eyes are careful. He holds out his arms. “C’mere. Over by the edge.” Tokiya moves, and Ranmaru straightens his leg. He pulls Tokiya against his chest at first, and he presses a kiss to the side of Tokiya’s neck. Tokiya can’t help but feel nervous. Ranmaru doesn’t pull back from Tokiya’s neck. “Don’t worry. This isn’t where I’m biting.” He mumbles against Tokiya’s skin. Tokiya feels Ranmaru’s other leg move, resting on the frame of the bed, pressing against Tokiya’s lower back. Ranmaru tilts Tokiya, trying to find a good angle. Ranmaru grabs Tokiya’s arm. His grip is firm, but it isn’t painful. He slides one hand down Tokiya’s arm, right above his elbow, and then brings Tokiya’s arm up. Ranmaru crouches himself, pressing his lips to the inside of Tokiya’s arm. 

“One thing about Ran.” Ren says, watching both of them closely. He sounds a bit amused. “He likes to make marks. I’ve got about three fang prints from him, and he only ever needed to bite me once. So make sure you let him know if you don’t want three hundred different sets of his teeth on you forever.” 

Ranmaru rolls his eyes. “Three hundred is an exaggeration.” 

Tokiya smiles a bit. He’s not surprised. He’s especially not surprised to hear that Ranmaru’s bitten Ren more than his fair share of times. It seems like Ranmaru. “It’s alright. I don’t mind marks.” 

Honestly- he kind of likes them. And he could always tell Ranmaru later to stop making marks if he really got out of control. Ranmaru returns his focus to Tokiya’s arm.

Tokiya can’t help but feel a bit nervous. Ranmaru glances up at Ren, and Ren starts rubbing Tokiya’s back. “Remember to breathe, Toki. If it hurts, he’ll stop.” Tokiya nods. He tries to take a second to breathe, slowly in and out. 

“You ready?” Ranmaru asks, sitting up enough to watch Tokiya’s face. Tokiya nods. Ranmaru looks away from Tokiya, even though Tokiya was a bit curious to see Ranmaru’s eyes. Ranmaru would press one last kiss against Tokiya’s wrist before he’d bite down. Tokiya presses his lips together. 

Ranmaru isn’t rough, exactly, but there’s some pressure. Tokiya can feel his sharp teeth break through the skin on his wrist. 

But the feeling returns. The one that apparently wasn’t normal. He feels a knot form in his stomach, and a warm feeling spread through his chest. He presses his tongue against the roof of his mouth to keep from panting. His entire face flushes red. 

“Are you doing okay, Toki?” 

The look Tokiya gives Ren is as careful as he can manage. He swallows. “I’m fine.” His voice is deeper than he means for it to be. He can’t cover his face because he’d end up pulling it out from underneath Ranmaru, and he doesn’t want Ranmaru to take that as a cue to move. 

But he’s not worried about Ren stopping this, because Ren looks amused, watching Tokiya. 

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“No, Ren, it doesn’t. You’re just teasing me now.” 

“A little. But you look so pretty, Toki. How couldn’t I?” 

Ranmaru’s fingers brush the underside of Tokiya’s arm lightly. The hand that wasn’t holding his wrist still. “Ran.” Tokiya’s voice is a sigh. It isn’t alarming, so Ranmaru doesn’t pull away yet. 

Tokiya thinks he almost loses it when he does. Tokiya would never in his life imagined that blood could be sexy- but watching Ranmaru pull away from his arm was transfixing. Ranmaru licks his lips, and Tokiya moves his hand, wiping some blood from the corner of Ranmaru’s mouth. Ranmaru was a messy eater no matter what he was eating, Tokiya guesses. Ranmaru catches Tokiya’s hand, catching Tokiya’s finger in his mouth, being careful of his fangs. He meets Tokiya’s eyes, and Tokiya’s caught in his gaze, just for a second. It’s wonderful. 

Because Tokiya had the day off, they had never left the house, and Ranmaru never put in his contact, so Tokiya got the full view of Ranmaru’s naturally grey eyes. Tokiya was sitting and he still felt his knees buckle. Tokiya feels Ranmaru’s tongue swipe at the pad of Tokiya’s finger, wiping the blood off of it. “At this rate you’re going to kill me.” Tokiya breathes out. Ranmaru nips Tokiya’s finger, still all too careful of his fangs, and releases Tokiya’s hand with a snort. 

“Yeah. That’s what’s gonna kill you.” Ranmaru shakes his head, and he returns his attention to Tokiya’s arm, swiping his tongue over the fresh bite wounds. They seal over, leaving a shiny, and slightly wet, scar. 

“If it’s too much, Tokiya, we can take a break. As long as you need.” 

Once Ranmaru straightens, Tokiya leans into his chest. He closes his eyes, gripping Ranmaru’s shirt to pull himself closer. Ranmaru wraps his arms around Tokiya tightly. 

“I’m fine.” Tokiya says. “It wasn’t the bite, or the blood. But God, you can’t give me that look, Ranmaru.” 

Ranmaru laughs. Ranmaru doesn’t often laugh aloud, but Tokiya does love it when he does. “So you’re telling me you’re a mess right now because I looked at you?”

Tokiya lifts his hand and sets it back down on Ranmaru’s chest, in a vague attempt of a playful smack. It was hardly reminiscent, so instead Tokiya just curls himself further into Ranmaru. “You know that’s not the kind of look I meant. I just need a minute to get over it.” 

“You broke him, Ran.” Ren sounds like he’s holding back a laugh. 

“Don’t get me wrong.” Ranmaru says, squeezing Tokiya lightly. “I’m glad it doesn’t hurt. But I’m not sure how to take this.” 

“You’re not sure how to take this?” Tokiya could continue. Tokiya’s almost worked up enough to continue. But he doesn’t. His voice is good natured, however. He sighs, sitting up from Ranmaru. Ranmaru begrudgingly lets him up. 

“Don’t push yourself, Toki.” 

“I’m alright, Ren.” Tokiya kneels in front of Ren, and he holds his face in his hands. He leans in, kissing him. Tokiya had meant for it to be softer, but he was still pretty worked up. 

Ren seems surprised by the kiss, and Tokiya’s pressing himself closer to Ren. “I know you won’t hurt me, Ren. Please. I want to do this for you.” Tokiya mumbles, his lips still almost touching Ren’s. Ren was breathing heavy, now, too. “How about this?” Tokiya’s hands are running down Ren’s shoulders. He’s basically straddling Ren’s lap, having knocked Ren down to a sitting position. “After this we can lay down together and just cuddle.” He slides his arms around Ren’s shoulders, hugging him, nuzzling his face into Ren’s neck. “And I get to be in the middle.” 

“But first we have to make you dinner.” Ren mumbles, his hand running up Tokiya’s back, holding him closer. 

Tokiya laughs. “I don’t know. That’s quite the stipulation.” Ren chuckles, and Tokiya sits up a bit, releasing Ren. Ren lets him sit back, but his hand is still on Tokiya’s back. “How do you want me?”

“This works. Come back down here.” Tokiya leans down, setting his head on Ren’s shoulder. Ren’s mouth presses against the crook of Tokiya’s neck. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am. I promise.” 

“Did it hurt when I marked you here?” Ren’s fingers have traveled up to the back of Tokiya’s neck, brushing near the spot he had bit. Near the spot Ren’s mouth was near now. 

“No. I don’t remember it hurting. You can use that spot again.”

Ranmaru moves, leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. He’s watching Tokiya’s face. 

“Is he alright, Ran?”

Tokiya was a little nervous. He still couldn’t entirely forget the comment the man had made on how much the neck hurt. Ranmaru’s bite didn’t hurt, so Tokiya wasn’t sure why he was worried. But they must have felt his anxiety, if Ranmaru moved. 

“I think so.” 

“I’m fine. I told you both. I promise. I’m fine.” 

“We just want to make sure, Toki.” Ren rubs his back. “It has been a very long time since I’ve fed from someone I care about.” Tokiya doesn’t see it, but Ren glances towards Ranmaru. Ranmaru’s eyes move over to the back of Ren’s head. “And I don’t think Ranmaru ever has, until now. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel. And we’re happy that you trust us enough to do this, and I know that you want to do this for us. But we don’t want you trying to help us at the cost of your own well-being.” 

Tokiya sets his cheek on Ren’s shoulder. “I know, Ren. I’m a little nervous. But I really am okay. It didn’t hurt when Ran did it, and I’m sure it won’t hurt when you do.”

Ren kisses Tokiya’s neck. “I’m going to believe you. But Ran’s still going to watch, just to make sure.”

“Alright.”

“Are you ready?” 

“Yes.” 

Tokiya bites his lip, and Ranmaru leans forward, kissing Tokiya, forcing him to release his lip. It keeps him distracted, too. He barely feels Ren’s teeth break through his skin. Ranmaru pulls back, and Tokiya lets his head relax back on Ren’s shoulder. He closes his eyes, trying to relax against Ren. Ranmaru doesn’t seem concerned- Tokiya knows his expression isn’t concerning, but he still doesn’t want to know exactly what it is. The knot in Tokiya’s stomach ached. His breaths were coming in pants. He couldn’t deny that he felt good. Ren’s fingers were tracing lightly just under Tokiya’s shirt. When Tokiya opens his eyes, Ranmaru’s looking right at him. Tokiya can’t quite read his expression. All he knows is that it isn’t concerned. 

Tokiya is sure that he looks like a mess. 

Ren pulls away. He takes a second to regain himself before Tokiya feels his tongue run across Tokiya’s wound. 

“Will you look at me, Toki?”

“No looking at me with your fangs out. I can’t handle the gaze right now.” Tokiya is pushing himself up as he speaks. When he looks at Ren, he’s still pretty transfixed, but Ren’s fangs are away. Ren smiles at him. 

“How are you feeling, Toki?” 

“‘M a little tired.” Tokiya mumbles. “But I’m okay.” Tokiya puts his hand on Ren’s face, smiling at him. “I should’ve asked you this, too Ran, and I’m sorry I didn’t. But how do you two feel?”

Ren blinks. He sighs, resting his head against Tokiya’s chest, lightly bumping his forehead against it before he does. “You’re the one missing blood, Toki. And you’re asking us how we are?”

“It was for a good cause. Answer the question.”

Ren shakes his head. Tokiya sees Ranmaru raise an eyebrow. “I feel good. Even better because it came from you.” Ren kisses Tokiya’s collarbone. 

Tokiya turns to look at Ranmaru. “My answer’s not any different, Toki. Thank you. But now you need to lay down. I’ll go ahead and make you food.” Ranmaru turns to slide off of the bed. Tokiya leans against Ren, but Ren moves him so that they’re both lying down. Tokiya is still half on top of Ren, but Ren doesn’t seem to mind. 

Tokiya is having a difficult time not falling asleep. 

“It’s okay, Toki. You can rest.” Ren says quietly. 

Tokiya shakes his head. “I don’t want you to think I overdid it. I can wait ‘til I eat.” 

“I think we need a longer break next time. But if you want there to be a next time, I’m not going to stop you. I hope you’re being honest about being okay. Because if you are- I think you did great.” Ren kisses Tokiya’s forehead. “And I think this went relatively well.”

Tokiya smiles, a bit sleepily. “If a longer break is the only adjustment you’d make, then I think we did really good.” He’d mumble. “And I might close my eyes. Just for a minute. But I didn’t forget about that deal.” 

Ren chuckles. Tokiya ends up falling asleep. They wake him up not long after, and he sleepily makes his way through dinner. They sit at the table with him, but he’s the only one eating. He looks up at Ranmaru, and Ranmaru raises an eyebrow in response. “What’s up?”

Tokiya shakes his head. He registers in time that if he asks Ranmaru why he’s the only one eating that Ranmaru’s going to tell him that they just ate. 

In his defensive, blood doesn’t sound like an appetizing dinner to him. But he wasn’t a vampire. 

“Nevermind.” 

“You sure you’re fine?” 

“Ran, you woke me up from a twenty minute nap. I left my brain in the bed.” 

Ranmaru makes an amused noise, but he drops the subject. 

Dinner is barely done when Tokiya goes to lay back in the bed, waiting. His eyes are open wide because he refuses to fall asleep yet. 

Ren and Ranmaru enter the room at the same time. Tokiya is in the middle of the bed. Ren chuckles, but then has to sit Tokiya up. 

“I’m just as excited for this as you are, Toki, but you can’t go to bed in jeans.”

Tokiya sighs, begrudgingly getting out of bed. He takes off his pants and goes to climb back in, and Ren sighs, but it’s good natured. He catches Tokiya, holding him close to himself, Tokiya’s back pressed to Ren’s chest. Tokiya doesn’t fight it. 

“We definitely need longer breaks. You sure you don’t want to get into pajamas, Toki?”

Tokiya was tired and full. Tokiya didn’t care about pants right now. Tokiya shakes his head. “I don’t need pants.” He insists. 

“If you say so.” Ren shakes his head, but lets go of Tokiya. Tokiya takes a second to move and Ren squeezes his bicep. “You can get in bed. We’ll be right behind you.”

Tokiya climbs back into the bed, and Ren barely pulls back the blanket in time. Tokiya was definitely half asleep right now. Ren climbs in behind Tokiya, and Ranmaru gets in on the other side. Tokiya reaches for Ranmaru, moving to use his chest as a pillow, wrapping an arm around Ranmaru’s waist. Ranmaru carefully wraps an arm around Tokiya, and Ren rests his head against Ranmaru’s arm, spooning Tokiya from behind. 

Tokiya stays awake long enough to appreciate the position he’s in. “It’s a shame you only feel what I feel when it’s bad.” Tokiya mumbles. “Because I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this happy.”

He feels the content from Ren and Ranmaru. It gives him a sleepy smile. 

Tokiya falls asleep. 

Ren and Ranmaru had preoccupations. They had asked him to be careful, because they couldn’t be there at the restaurant while Tokiya was working during the night, but they promised to be there at the end of his shift to pick him up. 

Well, tonight was specifically Ranmaru. It was some sort of event that wasn’t safe for Tokiya to go to, but was important to Ren’s family. Ranmaru hadn’t wanted to go at all, but Ren had convinced him to stay for the first part and Ranmaru relented. Probably because it was Ren. 

But tonight had Tokiya fed up beyond belief. Tokiya had been stiffed by most of his customers today. There were always the few, but today seemed like it was national ‘don’t tip your waiter’ day. It had Tokiya frustrated, to say the least. And it only made Tokiya angrier when he had to continue acting like he wasn’t angry. It was hard to be polite when you wanted to be anything but. And then he had a coworker cuss him out and leave- leaving Tokiya the shift by himself. And after having customers start complaining to him, he shut down the entire place an hour early. If his boss had a problem, he could talk to Tokiya about it tomorrow. Tokiya couldn’t be expected to take care of all of this alone. 

He’d find himself in the alley right besides his work after having taken out the trash. Even though the place was closed, he wasn’t planning to leave the kitchen a total mess. It might even be the difference of him managing to keep his job. It’s raining outside, too. Just his luck. But when one of the bags rip when he’s lugging it out and coats not only the stairs, the very inside of the door and his shoe with trash, he lost it. Before he could even think through what he was about to do, he’s struck his hand against the brick wall. He definitely hears a crack. He presses his head to the wall, hard enough to send a dull ache through his head, and he yells. He lets out a frustrated, pained yell, until he breaks, and it quiets into a sob. He’s got enough of himself together to lock the side door, and the front door when he passes it. He heads to Ren and Ranmaru’s house. Ranmaru wouldn’t be back for an hour, and Tokiya didn’t want to go back into the cafe dripping wet, or stand in front of the restaurant. 

He’s half way to Ren and Ranmaru’s home when he starts to get paranoid, and afraid. He’s shaking and it isn’t from the cold. But at this point, it was the same distance to the house as it was to the cafe so Tokiya had no choice but to keep going. He feels tears prick his eyes. God, what an idiot he was. He had left himself with a wide open target on his back. Tokiya’s heart sinks. Oh god, if he feels like this, what are Ren and Ranmaru thinking? Tokiya pats his pocket and realizes that he forgot his phone at the cafe. 

Fuck. 

Ren and Ranmaru had his location. They’d go to the house and he could apologize there. Apologize that they were probably worried sick over him just because he was being fucking stupid. He’d get to the house. He’d reach into his pocket and stare at his keys. They were solely his work keys. He must have left the other pair inside. He tries the door. 

It’s locked.

Tokiya walks to the stairs of the porch and sits down. Desolate. That’s how he’d describe himself right now. He cries. He full on ugly sobs. He sets his hands on the side of his head and presses, ignoring the pain of the pressure and the pain of using his injured hand. 

He knows what an anxiety attack feels like. It feels like you’re dying, and you can’t breathe, and your chest is constricting. It feels like the entire world is ending. 

That’s exactly what he feels like right now. 

“Tokiya, are you alright?” Tokiya feels hands on his arms, and he looks up through blurry eyes, half from tears and half from the rain that hasn’t stopped, and he sees Ranmaru’s serious, concerned face. And he sobs harder. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Tokiya chokes out. He’s shaking his head. “Nothing’s wrong. Nothing happened. I’m so sorry. It’s just a dumb bad day I didn’t mean to scare you.” His words are hysterical, but Ranmaru seems to hear them. 

“Toki, let’s get inside. We can talk about this in there.” Ranmaru helps Tokiya stand, and he leads him towards the door. Ranmaru has an arm wrapped tightly around Tokiya. He uses the other hand to reach into his pocket to grab his keys and unlock the door. He takes them back out quickly, leading Tokiya in and closing the door. He barely remembers to lock it behind him. 

Ranmaru sets his hands on Tokiya’s face. “Breathe, Toki. It’s gonna be okay.” 

“I’m sorry.” Tokiya whimpers. 

“Don’t be sorry, babe.” Ranmaru pulls Tokiya into a hug. It’s careful. Tokiya can only guess it’s because Ranmaru felt pain. Might still feel it. Tokiya doesn’t even know what he feels. He’s still sobbing, into Ranmaru’s shoulder. He clings to Ranmaru. He’s not entirely over the panic attack. 

“But it’s my fault. I was stupid. Nothing happened, I should’ve controlled myself, I got you worried, and Ren-”

“Hey, listen to me. Obviously something happened. Tokiya, just because something wasn’t trying to kill you doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. You can still be scared and anxious. And it’s still our job to worry about that. You aren’t okay. And I’m here to make you feel okay. Or at least as close as I can right now. So let’s get changed into dry clothes and calm you down first.” 

Tokiya nods, somehow. Ranmaru leads him into the room and Tokiya changes. Ranmaru stares at Tokiya when Tokiya uses his injured hand, but Tokiya’s injury isn’t obvious unless you know where to look. Ranmaru can only feel the pain. 

“R-Ran?” Tokiya hiccups. His crying has barely slowed. Ranmaru is still very close to Tokiya, even as they change. 

Ranmaru’s entire focus is on Tokiya. 

Tokiya’s question is quiet, which makes it hard to hear, but Ranmaru manages to pick it up. “When you say that you feel my anxiety and fear and pain-” Tokiya’s fear spikes, and his voice quivers worse. “Do you just know it’s there, or do you feel it?”

Ranmaru looks at Tokiya. The silence shows that Ranmaru doesn’t want to answer this question. But he does. “We feel the emotions on the same level you’re feelin’ ‘em. But we don’t get specifics. We don’t know why you’re feelin’ that way. We only know you are.”

Tokiya bites back a sob. Or he tries to. “So Ren’s feeling all of this right now and he doesn’t know why.” Tokiya felt terrible. He really wanted to stop feeling like this, because he didn’t want to keep putting them through this. Tokiya is shaking again, his shirt clutched in his hands, and the pain radiates up his arm. He’s making it worse on all three of them. He starts to withdraw into himself, and that’s when Ranmaru steps in. 

“Tokiya, look at me. Calm down. I know exactly how horrible you’re feelin’ right now, but you can’t keep making it worse. One of the best things about you is how much you care about us, but right now I need you to focus on yourself, okay?”

“I don’t want to.” Tokiya feels a spike of fear shoot through him at the thought. “Please don’t make me, Ran.” 

Ranmaru’s face twists. His calm demeanor is breaking a bit. He’s incredibly concerned for Tokiya. Tokiya knows how hard Ranmaru is trying right now. Ranmaru wasn’t usually the type to deal with Tokiya when he was emotional. “Tokiya. We have to work through this.” Tokiya doesn’t like the look that flashes through Ranmaru’s eyes. It’s uncertain. It’s a little hurt. “If you can’t talk to me about it, that’s fine. We can call Ren. But we’ve gotta work through this.”

Tokiya hiccups. The shirt falls from his hands, but he doesn’t mind it. He just moves towards Ranmaru, hugging him tightly. His face is buried in Ranmaru’s chest. “No, Ran, please. I do. I do want to talk to you.” Another hiccup. Tokiya’s managed to swallow his sobs. He needs Ranmaru to hear what he’s saying, even if it’s still sounds hysterical. “I don’t know how. I can’t talk to you because I don’t know how.” His voice is like a scared child. He squeezes his eyes closed, holding tightly onto Ranmaru. “It’s not because you’re not Ren.” 

Ranmaru sighs. “I know, Toki. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” Ranmaru rubs Tokiya’s back. “Why don’t we just start with what happened?” 

Tokiya nods, very slightly, his face still pressed into Ranmaru’s chest. Neither man had finished getting dressed, but they were out of their wet clothes. So Ranmaru would just lead Tokiya to the bed, and Tokiya would climb onto it. The sobs and hiccups had subsided, but he was still on the verge of crying. Once Ranmaru had sat down, Tokiya would move closer to him. Ranmaru would wrap his arm around Tokiya’s shoulders and would remain quiet. Tokiya would need a moment. 

“Work was miserable. I made almost nothing today, and had to work most of my shift alone. All kinds of small things kept going wrong.” Tokiya wipes angrily at his eyes, once again ignoring the pain from his protesting hand. Ranmaru’s eyebrows furrow, but he lets Tokiya continue. “And I was upset and it was raining and then I realized when I was already mostly back that I shouldn’t have left before you got there- and I just kept thinking about what happened last time. My phone’s still in the cafe. I’m not even sure if I’ll still have a job tomorrow. And then I locked myself outside and realized that you two had to be worried sick and I just… lost it.” Tokiya swallows. “And-” Tokiya gets quiet. “I- regret doing this already.” He sounds like a scolded child. “So please don’t get upset with me for it.” 

Tokiya’s head is bowed so he doesn’t see the emotions flicker across Ranmaru’s face. Tokiya would’ve been glad that he didn’t. 

“I- Jesus, Toki.” Ranmaru’s arm tightens around Tokiya’s shoulder. His voice is so soft and careful. “I won’t be upset. Please don’t think that you can’t tell me anythin’ because you think I’ll be mad.”

Tokiya swallows hard. “I punched a wall.” He admits. He holds up his left hand. Now that attention has been drawn to it, it does look a bit swollen, and is starting to form a bruise. Ranmaru grabs his hand, carefully, by the wrist. 

“Stay here, okay? I’m going to get some bandages. It looks like a sprain.”

Tokiya nods, his shoulders hunched over. Ranmaru goes to the bathroom and comes back. Ren has a fairly good first aid kit. Mostly bought for Tokiya’s sake. They had hoped they wouldn’t need it. Ranmaru kneels down in front of Tokiya. 

“Can you move it?” Tokiya flexes his fingers, and they all move. “I don’t think it’s broken.” Ranmaru begins to bandage Tokiya’s hand. He mumbles a few apologies when pain spikes through Tokiya’s body. As Ranmaru is finishing up, Tokiya bends over, his forehead resting on the top of Ranmaru’s head. 

“Thank you.”

“For not gettin’ angry?”

“For being here.”

Ranmaru looks up at Tokiya. Tokiya’s sure that his face shows as many different emotions as Ranmaru’s eyes seem to hold. Ranmaru presses a very light kiss to the back of Tokiya’s bandaged hand, barely brushing over it. Tokiya’s uninjured hand lands on Ranmaru’s cheek. 

“Will you lay down with me?” Tokiya asks. His eyebrows furrow. 

“Of course.” Tokiya’s hand moves off of Ranmaru’s face, reaching for Ran’s hand, and Ranmaru stands up. Tokiya begins to move onto the bed, lightly pulling Ranmaru with him before Ranmaru can suggest that they finish getting dressed. Neither of them were wearing a shirt. Not that Ranmaru normally slept in one. “Let me turn off the light. I’ll be right back. I promise.” Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya’s hand, and Tokiya reluctantly lets go of Ranmaru. He gets into the bed, sitting up until Ranmaru’s made his way back over. Ranmaru can see much better in the dark than Tokiya can. 

Ranmaru climbs into the bed behind Tokiya. 

“I want to cuddle.” Tokiya murmurs. “What do you want?”

“Can you roll on your side?” Ranmaru’s voice is equally quiet. But the silent room is calming. Tokiya turns, and Ranmaru wraps his arms around Tokiya’s waist, pulling him close to his chest. 

“I like this.” Tokiya smiles for what feels like the first time all night. “Thank you, Ran. I mean it. I needed you tonight. And I love Ren, too. But I’m glad you were the one who helped me tonight.” 

“Thank you for saying that, Toki.” 

“It’s true.” 

Ranmaru presses a kiss between Tokiya’s shoulder blades. Tokiya closes his eyes. He falls asleep quickly. 

He wakes up, though, when he feels Ran leave the bed. “Ran?” He mumbles tiredly, reaching out. He accidentally reaches with his injured hand, but the pain doesn’t stop him. 

Ranmaru catches the wrist of the injured hand and sets it back down gently. “Careful.” His voice is soft. Trying to avoid wake Tokiya further. “I’ll be right back, babe. Just saying hi to Ren.”

Tokiya waits until Ranmaru leaves the room, and then he sits up in bed. He’s so tired, but he doesn’t want to go back to sleep until Ranmaru’s back in bed with him. He hears Ren and Ranmaru’s conversation.

“I felt things calm back down. Is everything okay now? Was he hurt?”

“He was upset. Ended up lashing out and hurtin’ his hand, but we got it all fixed up.”

“He’s okay now?”

“I don’t think he’s totally over it. If he’s up for talkin’ more tomorrow, I think we should. But I got him out of his hysterical state.”

“Good.”

“...Hey, Ren?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks. For lettin’ me take care of him.”

“Of course, Ran.”

“What’s that look?”

“I think that sometimes Tokiya thinks that it’s me and you and then Tokiya. And I think sometimes you do the same thing.” Ren’s voice is soft. Tokiya has to strain to hear him. Maybe this is eavesdropping, but Tokiya listens anyway. He doubts they’d care that he heard. “I think that there are times where you think it’s me and Tokiya and then you. And I know neither of you are jealous, or think any less of each other- but I think you also both need time with each other. In the same way that I think it’s beneficial that we all spend time together, but not always all at the same time. It goes every way for all of us.”

“You’re right. Tonight was… well.” Ranmaru’s voice drops. “Toki said some things that I didn’t realize I needed to hear, I guess. But I’d prefer to do it when he isn’t inconsolable.” 

“I had some trouble sitting back during this one. But I knew you’d handle it. And you did. You did great, Ran.” 

They head back into the bedroom, and Ranmaru sighs when he sees Tokiya sitting up. “C’mon. Back to bed.” Ranmaru’s already heading back towards it. Tokiya scoots back down. Ren starts to get changed. 

“You can use the lights.” Tokiya mumbles, just loud enough for Ren to hear. Now that Ranmaru’s lying back down, Tokiya has cuddled into his side, his eyes already closed. Tokiya then moves, to the edge of one bed, and pulls Ranmaru to move with him. 

“I think you earned the middle of the bed tonight, Toki.” 

Tokiya would shake his head. His pulling is light, but insistent. Ranmaru eventually gives in, scooting over. Tokiya settles back in. Ren gets in on the other side of Ranmaru. He seems to try to find a way to comfortably have his arm over both Ranmaru and Tokiya, but can’t quite find the right position. He eventually settles with lying on Ranmaru’s other side and placing his hand over Tokiya’s hand that lies on Ranmaru’s chest.

Tokiya falls asleep. 

Tokiya had a knack for getting himself into trouble. Despite the fact that he listened to Ren and Ranmaru and tried to be careful, it just seemed to find him. Ren and Ranmaru had been with him, but they were outnumbered. It had started because Tokiya had tripped, and Ren, who had been closest to him, hadn’t managed to catch him. He fell, catching himself on a loose nail from a construction site nearby. 

Unfortunately it was late. Ren had helped him out and fussed over him, worried about the nail lodged in his arm. Tokiya wasn’t really calm about the situation either. Ren would have taken it out carefully, but the damage had already been done. Blood was already covering his arm- the nail wasn’t particularly long, or particularly big, but damn did the wound bleed. 

Alarmingly so, in Tokiya’s opinion. It didn’t hurt anywhere near as bad as it looked like it did. Ren was busy trying to staunch the blood flow. Ranmaru was the first to notice the group of about five. They seemed like a rough group. 

Tokiya could fill the group in his mind as soon as he saw them approaching. Ren and Ranmaru had told Tokiya about the dangerous vampires. There were feral ones, who openly embraced the killing. And then there were the rebellious one. They did what they wanted, took what they wanted and hurt anyone who stood in their way. 

It was the same type of vampire that had hurt him the last time he had been attacked. 

Ren is caught by Ranmaru’s unease, and he stands up straighter when he sees them approaching. Both Ren and Ranmaru seem to hope they’ll just pass- but one of them sniffs and looks over at Tokiya. 

“You gonna do something about that or is he free game?” There are three boys and two girls. The shorter of the two girls is the one that makes the first comment. 

“I am pretty hungry.” One of the guys comments. “He’s a decent size. You could share with a fellow vamp, huh?”

“He’s marked.” Ranmaru says, his voice gruff. 

“So? That’s all bullshit.” The first girl rolls her eyes.

“Doesn’t matter. The answer’s a no.” Ranmaru scowls. 

“Let’s go.” Ren says quietly, taking Tokiya’s wrist. 

“Not so fast.” One of the bigger guys moves, and when Ranmaru steps aside to block him, another guy reaches out and grabs Ren. 

Tokiya can see in Ranmaru’s eyes how close he is to losing it. But Ranmaru knows what he can win and what he can’t. He and Ren might be able to hold their own- but Tokiya’s there. 

Tokiya’s a liability. 

Why did trouble have to be attracted to Tokiya?

“Let go of him. Go find some drunko wandering around and get off of us.” Ranmaru’s intimidating. But with five people against two, it wasn’t a fair fight. 

“If you just hand him over maybe he’ll be alive enough for leftovers.” The second girl speaks up. 

Ranmaru yanks his hand free. Tokiya notices the way Ren positions himself. Ren is defense, Ranmaru is the offense. 

“Last chance.” The larger guy says, crossing his arms. “Hand over the blood bag, and this won’t be a fight.” 

“No fuckin’ way.” 

The man in front of Ranmaru throws a punch, but Ranmaru is prepared for it. 

Tokiya can read Ren’s thoughts. He feels the way Ren’s hand tenses against his arm. Ren wants to take Tokiya and leave, but he doesn’t want to leave Ranmaru. 

Tokiya doesn’t want to leave Ranmaru either. 

Tokiya doesn’t want them getting hurt over him. Tokiya tries to pull his arm away from Ren, his only plan to run. If he’s the one they want, they’d chase him. Maybe Tokiya could manage to escape them with a head start. Ren’s grip tightens. That’s not a plan that’s going to happen.

Ranmaru’s fighting with the larger man, and manages to stop another man heading towards Ren. That leaves three people heading for Ren. 

This isn’t fair. 

That’s the only thing Tokiya can think. He’s terrified, but he’s scared to be scared, because he doesn’t want it to throw Ren and Ranmaru off. Ren’s at a disadvantage watching Tokiya.

“No.” Ren’s voice is low and quiet. His grip is very tight on Tokiya’s arm, though Tokiya is almost entirely behind him at this point. 

Ren doesn’t catch one of the girls, taking something out of a holster attached to her leg. Tokiya hadn’t noticed until the gun was pointed. He’d bet that those were silver bullets.

Tokiya could call out to warn Ren, but his time is limited. If Tokiya couldn’t say it just right, or Ren didn’t react right away, it would be too late. 

Ren is too careful right now for Tokiya to pull him out of the way in time. And who knows how far he could pull Ren, and even if he tried- it might not be far enough.

Ren’s grip manages to slip on Tokiya’s arm because he wasn’t prepared for the direction Tokiya lunged in. Tokiya had moved forward, and sideways, throwing himself on top of Ren. Like a shield. It was just in time. The bullet would enter through Tokiya’s back. If Tokiya hadn’t have been in the way, it would have hit Ren’s heart. 

Tokiya doesn’t regret his choice. 

His arms are wrapped around Ren’s neck. They found their way there in case Ren reacted quickly enough to shove him off. 

The gun made a loud noise. The houses near them had lights turning on. 

“We’ve gotta go.” One of the men says, aggravated. He backtracks, and the others follow. “If we ever see either of you again, you’re dead.”

They had already written off Tokiya as dead. 

Tokiya still hasn’t felt the pain. He can’t tell where it hit. It’s hard to breath- but that doesn’t mean it’s in his lung. It just means that he’s been shot. 

And then the pain hits. Tokiya’s knees buckle. The pain is intense enough that he can’t make any sound. “Tokiya?” Ren’s voice is horrified. Ranmaru had barely even watched them retreat, moving over to Ren at the sound of the gunshot. 

“No.” It was a denial. Tokiya couldn’t see Ranmaru’s face with his own buried in Ren’s neck. 

“Why would you do that, Toki?” Ren’s voice is high, higher than Tokiya thinks he’s ever heard it go. It’s shaking. Ren’s lost his composure. He’s clutching at Tokiya, and it’s part of the reason Tokiya’s still standing. 

“We need to go, Ren.” Ranmaru takes Tokiya. He picks him up, effortlessly, and as he’s pulled away he sees Ren’s face. Ren’s crying. His face is twisted in horror. Tokiya fights Ranmaru, trying to get back to Ren. 

“Tokiya, stop.” Ranmaru’s voice is sharp. But what really stops Tokiya is how strained it is. Ranmaru’s close to tears, too. Tokiya can feel their fear, even without having marked either of them. 

“He would’ve died.” Tokiya’s voice is weak. It hurts to talk, but he needs to. “I couldn’t watch him die, Ran.” 

“But it’s better that we have to watch you?” Ranmaru’s walking. He has been. Ren is right on his elbow. That’s the sentence that Ranmaru breaks on. Tokiya sees tears roll down Ranmaru’s cheeks. He sees one land on his wrist. He doesn’t feel it. 

It hurts. Oh, god did it hurt. 

Tokiya couldn’t tell them. Tokiya didn’t need to. They could feel it. 

Ranmaru was holding him just a bit too tightly, but Tokiya wasn’t going to say anything about that, either. 

Tokiya wonders if they’re going to bring him to the hospital- but they bring him back to the house.

Ren takes him from Ranmaru. Tokiya’s been passed around a lot tonight. 

Tokiya wouldn’t regret his decision. He would feel sorry that he hurt them, but he wouldn’t be sorry that he got hurt instead of them. After all, that’s what they expected of him. To let them get hurt so he’d stay safe. 

That wasn’t fair. 

Tokiya felt a dull wave of fear wash over him. It slowly increased until it rivaled the pain. Were they treating him like this because he was past saving?

Did they bring him here so he wouldn’t die on an operating table?

If he had to die, at least it would be with Ren and Ranmaru. 

Tokiya used to wish he had someone to come home to at night. 

He’d cry, finally, as Ren sat on the couch with Tokiya cradled in his arms. “I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

“Don’t.” Ren shakes his head, setting his jaw. Tokiya hated seeing Ren cry. He was crying hard right now. “You’re not going to. We aren’t going to let you.”

“Ren.” Ranmaru would say Ren’s name, and they’d look at each other for a long moment. Ren’s only movement was his hand, petting through Tokiya’s hair where he held Tokiya’s head to his chest. “Who’s gonna damn him?”

Ren would swallow, looking down at Tokiya. There was fear in his eyes. Tokiya was scared. They were scared. His exhaustion was growing. 

And the pain was ungodly. If he were going to die, he just wanted to die. 

“I love you.” Tokiya says. He’s surprised either of them can hear him. 

Ren sobs. Ren’s head falls, landing on Tokiya’s chest. Ranmaru crouches down beside the couch. 

“I love you.” Ren says, his voice breaking. “I love you, so much, Toki. We’re going to save you, baby.”

Ranmaru’s jaw clenches. “I love you, too, Toki. But you’re not going to die.” 

“I’ll do it.” Ren says. Tokiya can barely focus on him. Maybe if he could, he would have figured out what they were going to do when Ren continued. “You don’t deserve that, Ran. I’ve already done it once. I can bear the guilt of doing it again.” Ren looks up, looks Ranmaru in the eyes. “I don’t regret my choice then. I know I won’t regret my choice now.” 

Ren moves a hand away from Tokiya, and Ranmaru leans forward, balancing him. Tokiya makes a noise, an attempted surprised protest, when Ren suddenly bites into his own wrist. He holds his bleeding wrist to Tokiya’s mouth. 

“Trust me, Toki. Please.” 

Tokiya feels blood drip into his mouth, snapping into an alarmed awareness. He doesn’t know what to do. 

“I know it seems gross, but you have to swallow it, Toki.” Ranmaru says. His voice has changed. It’s softer. Persuading. 

Tokiya doesn’t, for a moment. But Ren’s wrist stays pressed against his mouth, and finally, he swallows.

Nothing seemed to change. 

Tokiya remained in pain. Ren kept holding him. Ranmaru hadn’t moved from the side of the couch. 

Tokiya started losing focus. The first time, he panicked. He’d clutch blindly, grabbing Ranmaru’s hand and Ren’s shirt. He’d sob. 

“It hurts.” Tokiya would finally break. He’d whimper. “It hurts. I want it to stop. Please make it stop, Ren.” Once the words had left, they wouldn’t stop. “I don’t want to die.”

That’s all he could say, towards the end. 

Every time he’d say it Ren would let out a stifled sob. 

Ranmaru would put his hand against Tokiya’s cheek, and in the gentlest voice Tokiya had ever heard Ranmaru use, he’d whisper, “I know, Toki, I know.”

Eventually Tokiya’s cries would quiet, and Ren’s would increase. 

Ranmaru would lay his head against Tokiya’s side. His shoulders would shake. 

Ren would wail. Clutching Tokiya’s body closer to himself. It was already colder. Tokiya’s eyes were open. They were staring blankly in front of him. Ranmaru’s sobs would become audible. 

Tokiya awakens to someone holding him tightly. His throat is dry, like sandpaper, and when he opens his eyes it burns. He tries to flinch away, to get away from the light, but the arms hold him tightly. 

“Toki.” Tokiya recognized Ren’s voice immediately, even through the hoarseness that had come from the intense crying. Tokiya would stop struggling, but he can’t open his eyes. He only remembers pain, but it’s different. His head hurts, and his throat, and his mouth and his eyes- but he couldn’t feel any pain from his chest. 

He had been shot. 

Tokiya realizes that he needs to see Ren. Tokiya should be dead. Tokiya was dying. Tokiya opens his eyes, but Ren covers Tokiya’s eyes with his hands. “Ran, get the lights.” 

It takes Ranmaru a few seconds to stand up. Tokiya feels Ranmaru pull himself away from Tokiya, but now Tokiya is reaching for Ranmaru, too. 

“It’s okay.” Ren says. His voice is strained, quiet and weak. Ren hasn’t entirely stopped crying. The wails have gone, and the sobs disappeared. Ranmaru finally manages to hit the lights, Tokiya not having managed to grab him. Ren removes his hand when the lights are off, and Tokiya can open his eyes without searing pain. 

Tokiya is scared, and confused, but it’s lessened when he can see Ren. If this were heaven, or hell, he thinks he could handle it. He looks over across the room, seeing Ranmaru coming back to the couch gets Tokiya to reach out again. Ranmaru kneels back down, and Tokiya is surprised to find how well he can make out Ranmaru’s face. Ranmaru looks guilty. 

“Toki?” Ranmaru’s voice is deep, and a bit scratchy as well. Tokiya wants to respond, but he’s afraid of the pain he’ll feel if he speaks. Tokiya holds his throat, clawing at it a bit. Ren stops that quickly. Ranmaru stands back up, and Tokiya, on habit, reaches towards him. “I’m coming back.”

Ranmaru comes back a moment later. Tokiya is trying to move, to sit up, but Ren’s keeping him still and Tokiya doesn’t know why. Ranmaru’s holding a cup. They have glasses, but this one is a cup that Tokiya can’t see through. But the idea of relieving the pain in his throat has him reaching out for the cup like a child. Ranmaru gives it to Tokiya, and Tokiya downs it. 

It isn’t water. Tokiya doesn’t know what it is, at first, because it tastes good and it’s helping his throat. But then the taste of iron clicks in Tokiya’s head and he coughs, choking some of it back into the cup. Ren sits him up, rubbing his back. Ranmaru takes the cup. 

They’re both silent. 

“That wasn’t-” Tokiya’s voice sounds strained. “Did you…?”

“I’m sorry, Toki.” Ren holds him. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me baby.” 

“Ren.” Tokiya is shaking. Ranmaru kneels on the couch, his back against Tokiya’s chest and his hand on Tokiya’s shoulder. 

“We couldn’t just watch you die, Tokiya. Don’t blame Ren, please.”

“You-” Tokiya can’t find words. His hands frantically fly to his mouth, poking and prodding at the soreness. He nearly cuts his finger on one of the two new teeth in his mouth. They were sharp and pointy. 

“I’m sorry that we didn’t ask you, Toki.” Ren says. His voice is barely audible. “But I was worried you might say no. And I’m not sorry that I did it.”

That sounds exactly like the reason that Tokiya was in this situation. 

He’s shaken, he’s afraid, and there’s so much to take in- but how can he be mad at Ren for doing what Tokiya had done to Ren? So instead of angry, he just feels… empty. 

Tokiya’s still trying to get up. Ren finally lets him, but both boys hover over Tokiya. Tokiya stumbles, but he’s trying to make his way to the bathroom. Out of habit he reaches for the light switch, but he jerks his hand back right before Ren stops him- leaving the lights off. 

Tokiya remembers the headache. He looks at himself in the mirror. He almost looks the same, just worse for wear at the moment. His shirt is covered in blood, and there’s a red tint around his mouth. Tokiya isn’t sure if it’s from drinking the blood or if it’s from coughing up his own. He pulls back his lips, and for the first time in his life the snarl looks intimidating. He just barely manages to see the new additions to his teeth before he winces and drops the expression. His eyes seem different. They remind him of Ren and Ranmaru’s. 

Captivating.

That’s a weird word to describe any part of himself with. 

Ren’s hand lands on his arm. Tokiya glances at him through the mirror. Idly, he thinks about how that’s another myth. He can see Ren and Ranmaru in the mirror. And he guesses that he’s proof himself, now.

His throat still hurts, but not nearly as bad as it had. 

Ren looks concerned. He seems… afraid. Tokiya swallows. He feels like Ren is afraid of Tokiya- but that can’t be right, can it?

“What?” Tokiya doesn’t mean to snap at Ren, but he doesn’t like the look he’s being given. Tokiya winces. 

“Tokiya.” Ranmaru mumbles, but it’s a halfhearted warning. 

“It’s okay.” Ren says quietly, to Ranmaru. “Toki, there are going to be a lot of… adjustments. Please know that we’re on your side. No matter what.”

“Ren-” Tokiya’s voice raises, his fear spiking. “Why are you saying that?”

They’re quiet for a minute. Ranmaru’s not quite looking at Tokiya. He almost looks lost. It’s not a common expression on Ranmaru and Tokiya doesn’t like it. Ren finally speaks after a moment, his voice serious. 

“It can be very difficult to control yourself, Toki. Especially for the first while after you’ve turned.”

Tokiya has to hold onto the counter. Turned. God, he drank human blood. He moves to the toilet, his stomach heaving. Ren moves after him, crouching down. He brushes Tokiya’s hair back from his face. 

“I don’t know if I can handle this, Ren.” Tokiya whimpers. 

“You have to, Toki. I’m sorry, but you have to.” Ren’s voice is hushed, but it’s urgent. His arms wrap around Tokiya. “We aren’t going to let you deny the change. Even if it makes you hate us.”

“What do you mean deny the change?” Tokiya asks carefully. The only thing he could assume is that denying the change would lead to death. 

“Sometimes new vampires don’t accept that’s what they are.” Ren says, his voice small. His head is lying on Tokiya’s shoulder, in the position Ren often took when he was trying to comfort Tokiya. “And they don’t take care of their new needs. That’s how almost all feral vampires are made. You can only push yourself so far until you snap, and then there’s no going back from that.”

Tokiya remembers when they told him about ferals. They didn’t seem very comfortable with the topic, but Ren told him anyways. They were savages. Perfect killing machines- driven by blood lust and only that. Like wild animals. The kind of vampires you saw in horror movies. From how Ren described them, they were beyond feeling, and beyond caring. Tokiya would shake, and he’d feel tears prick at his eyes. He didn’t want to be that. He wanted his life. 

“We won’t let that happen, Toki.” Ranmaru says, his voice final. “It’s not going to. It’s not an option.”

“What options do I even have?” Tokiya’s voice sounds defeated. He rests his head against the toilet.

“Tokiya. In the literal sense your life is over. But think back to when you met Ran and I. You had no idea what we were. It’s going to take some time to get used to everything, and to get your urges under control- but you’ll blend in. You can still live.”

“It isn’t like you went out during the day, anyways.” Ranmaru points out. “Once you’re able to control yourself, you could even go back to work. You don’t have to change anythin’ Toki.”

Tokiya just stays quiet. After a moment, Ren speaks cautiously. “What are you thinking, baby? Are you mad?”

“I guess I can’t be. Not really. You… you did take my choice. I don’t know what I would’ve chosen if you asked me. But I didn’t ask either. And I don’t know what I would’ve done in your place. I probably would’ve done the same thing. But-” Tokiya swallows, and he brings his hand up, moving so that he can touch his fingers to his neck despite Ren’s embrace that had been inadvertently holding down his arms. He knows that if he had a pulse, he would feel it, but there’s nothing. “I’m dead. That’s not something I can figure out how to just… get over. And you keep looking at me like I’m going to snap.” Tokiya doesn’t get angry this time. He gets sad. He fights against Ren’s grip, and it relaxes just a little so that Tokiya can rub his eyes. “And you’re both upset, and I only have the faintest grasp of what’s going on, and everything still hurts.” His headache was less prominent without the lights on, but his mouth was still sore, and his throat still burned. “Not to mention that you’re both acting like I’d ever lash out at you. Like there’s anything you could do that would make me attack you. You’re both so tense, and you both seemed scared.” His voice is aggravated, despite the fact that he’s crying now. “Like I’m a different person. And I don’t know if I am anymore. I don’t feel like a different person. Am I acting like one?”

“No, honey, no.” Ren holds him tightly to himself, pulling him away from the toilet. He sees Ranmaru crouch down beside him, a hand petting through Tokiya’s hair, a hand on Tokiya’s arm. “You’re not. I’m sorry that we’re making you feel like you are. We both know you wouldn’t hurt us, Toki. I’m scared of how you’re going to take this. That’s all there is to it. I’m not afraid of you, baby. All either of us want is for you to be okay. If I didn’t think this was something you could handle, I would never have put you through this.”

“Tokiya. I had a tough time when I turned.” Ranmaru’s voice is serious, and low. Ranmaru’s comment makes Tokiya nervous. If Ranmaru had trouble, what makes them think Tokiya could do this? “I’m not you. I’ve always been an aggressive person. And when I turned, it got worse. It was the worst time I think I’ve ever gone through. I had Ren, but not really. I separated myself, and I still regret it.” Tokiya can see Ranmaru’s face. He’s turned his head to watch him. Ranmaru’s expression is tense. If Ren hadn’t been holding him so tightly, Tokiya would have reached for Ranmaru. “That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of what happened. But it’s not going to happen to you, because I’m not going to let it. But there’s somethin’ you need to keep in mind, Toki. I know I’ve told you a lot that you’re not a fighter. And that still hasn’t changed- but what has changed is that you are stronger. It’s a physical change. You need to keep that in mind. You aren’t aggressive, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna get aggressive sometimes. You need to remember that you’re stronger than you think you are, and if you’re not careful, you can hurt people. I know you wouldn’t mean to, but it’s… something that could happen.”

Tokiya shakes his head. “I don’t- I don’t want to-”

Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya’s arm. “We’re going to do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen. But you’ve gotta listen to us, babe.”

“Do you…” Tokiya swallows. He hides his face in Ren’s neck. “Do you think I might hurt one of you?”

Or both. Tokiya cringes at the thought. Ren’s grip on him is almost borderline painful. He feels Ranmaru lean over them, his back pressed to Tokiya’s, one hand gripping the shoulder furthest from Ranmaru, and the other wrapping around Ren’s back. 

“No, Toki. I don’t think you would.” Ranmaru says. His voice is quiet, but it’s honest. “I think there are gonna be times where you’re gonna fight us on things, but I don’t think you’re ever going to hurt us.”

“No, baby. I don’t think you could.” Ren says, in defense of Ranmaru’s words. 

They stay in the bathroom for a while. Tokiya is quiet, and they don’t speak either. 

It takes two days for them to convince Tokiya to drink any blood. For the first half of the first day, they don’t push it. Towards the last half they start pleading. 

“Toki, you have to.” Ren’s brows would furrow. “It’ll make you feel better.”

The longer Tokiya went without it, the worse Tokiya would start to feel. 

“No.” 

“C’mon, Tokiya.” Ranmaru would sigh, offering Tokiya another cup he couldn’t see through. Tokiya shakes his head. 

They begrudgingly dropped it, but had brought it up the rest of the night. 

The next day there was a lot of arguing. 

“Tokiya, just drink the damn blood.” Ranmaru would try to force the cup into Tokiya’s hands. Tokiya wouldn’t take it. 

“You can’t make me.” Tokiya’s eyes are narrowed and his voice is angry. 

“Tokiya, this isn’t a discussion. You need to drink it.” Ren looks stern. 

Tokiya had locked himself in the room. They gave him half of the night before they entered. When he wouldn’t unlock the door- Ranmaru just broke the lock. 

Tokiya narrows his eyes, not moving from the spot on the bed. Ranmaru moves towards him, but he has an arm around Tokiya before Tokiya can react. He’s holding him. Restraining him. Ren has the cup. 

Tokiya purses his lips, glaring. 

He didn’t want to drink it. 

“Tokiya, this is your last chance to just drink it.” Ren walks closer to Tokiya. “We’re trying to protect you.”

Tokiya doesn’t react. 

Ren sighs, aggravated. He takes a large drink from the cup, setting it on the table and swiftly moves to Tokiya. He puts his thumb on Tokiya’s chin, forcing Tokiya’s mouth open slightly, and he presses his lips to Tokiya’s. Some blood runs down Tokiya’s chin, and some runs down Ren’s- but most of it lands in Tokiya’s mouth. 

Tokiya doesn’t want to swallow it, but his body does anyways. Tokiya can’t control himself when his tongue enters Ren’s mouth, going for the taste of the blood. He pulls away, licking the blood off of Ren’s lips, his own chin. 

Ren pulls away to grab the cup. When Ranmaru unwraps his arm from Tokiya, Tokiya reaches for the cup. 

His throat had been killing him. It had been unbearable. 

Tokiya didn’t want this, but he couldn’t control himself. It scared him. 

Tokiya drains the cup. Ren tries to take it once it’s empty, but Tokiya won’t let it go. Ren leaves the room, but he comes back with another one. 

Tokiya cringes away from the new cup, his entire body tense. 

“I already drank it.” Tokiya’s voice is strained. 

“Your body will tell you when you’re done, Tokiya.” Ranmaru says, a hand on Tokiya’s shoulder. “You’ve barely had anything for three days. You’re starving yourself.”

“This is how ferals are made, Toki.” Ren walks closer to Tokiya with the cup. Tokiya’s body is still, like a statue. His eyes stay on the cup. Ren was nice enough to put it in another one that Tokiya couldn’t see through. “I know it seems gross, but you need it. No one was hurt for this, Toki, but if you keep holding yourself back, someone might be.” 

When Ren hands Tokiya the cup, he has to take it. He grips it tightly, still not letting go of the other empty one. He holds the cup, and he looks into it. There’s nothing else he can compare it to. 

He doesn’t drink wine, and he thinks that the blood is thicker, anyways. He feels sick. 

“Tokiya, you can’t throw this up.” Ranmaru says, his voice serious. It must show on Tokiya’s face. Ranmaru moves the cup up, towards Tokiya's face. “Stop lookin’ at it and drink.”

When it’s close enough to smell, reflex kicks in and Tokiya begins drinking it, with the same intensity he had the first cup. The first cup falls from his hand without thinking as he raises his now free hand to the second cup. It’s gone quickly. 

The ache in his throat is still there, but he can’t drink more. He feels so sick. 

He’d cry. Ren would gently take the cup, and he’d wrap his arms around Tokiya’s chest, resting his head on Tokiya’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Toki. We had to, baby.”

Tokiya would stay quiet. 

Tokiya wishes he had listened to them. The next time they tried to get him to drink, he had left. 

He hadn’t just left. He had hissed at them. Like an animal.

He should have stayed. He should have let them keep him there. But he didn’t. And that’s how he ended up sobbing wildly in an alley next to a dead body. 

It was a homeless woman, who had seen him and had started begging for money. He had tried to leave, but she kept insisting. 

God, why did he have to snap? He couldn’t stop. He hadn’t been able to pull himself away from her once he’d bitten into her neck. She had cried. She had tried to scream, but she didn’t seem to be capable of it. She was pushing at him, trying to get him off, and he ignored her. 

Blood lust. 

Tokiya was horrible. Unforgivable. 

Ren was right. He ended up hurting somebody. Hurting wasn’t the right word. He killed someone. A defenseless, innocent woman. 

“Oh no.” Ren’s voice barely registers to Tokiya. 

“I’ll take care of it.” Ranmaru’s voice is somber. “Take him back home.”

Ren moves towards Tokiya and Tokiya falls back. 

“Don’t touch me. If I hurt you, too, I-” Tokiya shakes his head, his sobs turning bitter. Ren doesn’t stop approaching him. 

“You won’t, Toki. I know you won’t.” 

“Do you, Ren? I killed that woman. Oh God.” Tokiya covers his face with his hands. He feels sick. 

Ren puts his hands on Tokiya’s arm. “Tokiya, we need to go home.” His voice is gentle, but it’s firm. Tokiya lets Ren lead him, though his legs feel heavy. “We’ll talk about this there, okay?” 

Tokiya wants to talk about this now. He feels like he should be going to the police to turn himself in, not back home as if nothing had happened. 

He had killed a human being. 

Ren is quiet on the walk home, and the only sound Tokiya makes comes from his crying. 

Ren gets Tokiya inside, and begins to lead him to the room. Tokiya realizes that his clothes are covered in blood. 

Tokiya had never been a messy eater before. The thought makes him break away from Ren, heading to the bathroom. He throws up. 

Ren sighs quietly. 

Tokiya begins to sob so hard he accidentally makes himself throw up again. Ren had been approaching him, but he’s more urgent now. 

“Baby, baby, calm down. Ssh, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Ren rubs Tokiya’s back, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“How, Ren? I’m a murderer. I killed someone for blood that I just threw up!” Tokiya’s hand strikes the toilet. It hurts, but he doesn’t care. 

“Be careful, Toki.” Ren takes Tokiya’s hand in both of his. 

“Why are you so calm about this?” Tokiya asks, his voice angry. 

Ren swallows, pursing his lips for a second. He sighs again. “I think we should wait for Ran. He should be here for this.”

So Ren was going to condemn him. He was just waiting for Ranmaru. Good. Tokiya deserved it.

The door opens only a moment later. 

“You should change your shirt before we talk about this.” Ren says softly. Tokiya stands up on unsteady legs, but he won’t let Ren help him. He heads to the room, and somehow gets his shirt off. He grabs another one of his shirts from a drawer and slips it on. 

He’s so tired. 

“Let’s go to the living room, Toki.” Ranmaru still hadn’t entered the bedroom, but Ren never left. 

Tokiya walks out quietly.

He sits in a chair. Ren and Ranmaru sit on the couch, Ren in the seat that’s closest to the chair. 

“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Ren asks softly. 

Tokiya thinks it’s an actual question. He can’t understand why. 

He really can’t understand why they aren’t angry at him. 

Tokiya pulls his knees up to his chest. “She kept trying to talk to me, and I snapped. I couldn’t control myself. She kept hitting me, and she was crying, and she had begged me to let her live and I didn’t care. I didn’t stop even when she had stopped moving, even after she was already dead.” The intensity of his crying keeps fluctuating, but it’s back on the more intense side as he speaks, though he can’t stop. “I didn’t even feel guilty until it was too late. I wish I had listened to you and I hadn’t gone out. I- I should go somewhere isolated. Somewhere I can’t hurt anyone.” Tokiya’s lip quivers. 

“Toki, you’re taking the wrong lesson out of this.” Ren’s voice holds concern. 

“I killed someone Ren. It’s too late. I’m dangerous. I shouldn’t be anywhere near people.” Tokiya angrily wipes his eyes. 

“Tokiya.” Ranmaru’s voice is flat, and serious. There’s an unreadable look in Ranmaru’s eyes. His tone gets Tokiya to be quiet and listen. “You’re a vampire. Ren and I have both killed before. I’m not sayin’ that to desensitize it. It’s fucked up, and it’s wrong. But as much as I hate to say it, it’s somethin’ that was probably going to happen. It’s a lesson you can’t just be told. What’s important now isn’t that you did it. It’s that you’re feeling guilty about that. The real problem would be if you came away from that and you didn’t feel guilty. You made a mistake. You’re gonna live for a really long time, Toki, and you’re gonna make a lot of ‘em.” Ranmaru’s eyebrows furrow. He’s still looking at Tokiya, but there’s something else in Ranmaru’s eyes. Tokiya recognizes it. It’s guilt. The same kind Tokiya’s feeling right now. “It took me three years to feel what you’re feelin’ when I turned, Tokiya. I couldn’t tell you how many people I’ve hurt. I felt like I had a right, because I was hungry and I could.”

Tokiya flinches. He doesn’t know why. There are too many reasons to choose one. One is hearing that this was who Ranmaru was. It doesn’t change his opinion of him, but Tokiya never would have guessed. But he also can’t help but visualize himself with that ideal. He doesn’t think he could. He really hopes he couldn’t. 

“See?” Ranmaru says. His voice is a bit dry, unintentionally. “That’s my point, Tokiya. You aren’t me. And that’s a good thing. What we want you to take away from this is that you still have a conscious, and that’s more than a lot of new vampires can say.”

“We’re sorry we let this happen.” Ren inputs. “We should have been following you closer. But the lesson here isn’t that you need to be isolated. I know you well enough to know that this makes you want to strengthen your resolve to not drink blood, but that isn’t what you should take from this. Tokiya, you can’t starve yourself. I-” Ren looks away from Tokiya. A sad look crosses his face. Tokiya feels a pang of pain shoot through his chest when he sees it. “I don’t know what you’re expecting to come from that, but I can tell you that if you’re trying to starve yourself until you die, that won’t work. The only thing that will come from that is pain, until you eventually break. You’d be miserable until you turned feral, and then you wouldn’t care.” Ren finally looks at Tokiya again. “I’ll tell you how I would like for us to continue from here. I’d like if you’d start drinking what we gave you. I promise you that it’s all safe, and we haven’t hurt anyone to get it. It’s as humane as we can get while still getting what we need. I don’t think you’ll have as many problems controlling yourself if you’re well fed. You’re really testing things, keeping yourself starved, baby. You’re making things so much harder on yourself.” Ren frowns. “But as long as you listen to us, we’ll make sure nothing happens again.”

Tokiya stays quiet. He feels unsure. 

“Why are you fightin’ us so hard on this?” Ranmaru asks. His voice is frustrated. 

“I didn’t ask for this.” Tokiya says, swallowing hard. He knew what he was doing. It didn’t make him feel good to do it, but he was running out of ways to get his way. 

“I told you before, Toki.” Ren’s voice wavers a bit, but his jaw is set. It hit him where Tokiya knew it would, but he was trying to hide it. Or maybe trying to ignore it. “You’re making it through this. Even if you hate us by the end of it.”

“I’ll find somewhere else. Somewhere far away entirely isolated. If I’m around nobody, even if I snap, I can’t hurt anyone.” Tokiya sets his jaw. It’s not quite a bluff- but it’s close. It isn’t what he wants to do at all. Be away from them, that is. But he can’t. He doesn’t care if he’s being overdramatic about it- he could hardly look at blood before, and now he’s expected to drink it? 

“You’re craving it, Tokiya.” Ranmaru says bluntly. “Tell me why you won’t just drink it.”

“Because what if it has the opposite effect?” Tokiya snaps. “What if I drink it, and then I decide that blood bags aren’t enough? You said it yourself, I’m stronger now than I was. What happens if you try to stop me and I decide I don’t want to be stopped? And even if you’re still stronger than me, what are you going to do? Restrain me for the rest of… what? Forever? What if I become one of those vampires that kill for fun? Would you be able to kill me? Or would you just leave me locked up?” His voice drops. “Or would you just let me be that person? Then what’s the point of changing me if I’m not the person I was before, anyways. What if I’m not the same person right now, anyways, and all of this was futile?”

“Toki-” Ren’s voice sounds hurt. He reaches for Tokiya. Tokiya stands from the chair, stepping away. 

“Don’t.” Tokiya backs away further. “You and Ranmaru have it all figured out, but I don’t. And I can’t even say that I don’t know who I am, because I do. I’m a monster, Ren. You should have just let me die.” Tokiya leaves through the front door. Ranmaru grabs his arm but Tokiya’s quick and angry, and he pulls his arm away, even though he thinks it left a mark on his arm. 

Tokiya was already a killer. He wasn’t looking for a second victim, but if he snapped on someone, it wasn’t as if it was something new. 

A monster.

Tokiya didn’t think of Ren or Ranmaru as monsters. Despite everything that just went down, he loved them with all of his heart. That’s all his heart was really good for right now anyways.

But when Tokiya thought of himself, monster was the only word he could think of. 

Tokiya didn’t know where to go. He was unstable, and that was dangerous. He was starting to feel the effects of throwing up the blood, and the pain in his throat was beginning to become nearly unbearable. Tokiya had stopped crying. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t still on the edge of it, though. 

Tokiya just walks. He looks at his watch and sees that it’s five, and he notices that the sun is starting to come up. He couldn’t make it back to the house in time to avoid the sun, and he hasn’t had his apartment for quite some time. Not that he was much closer to that, anyways. 

Tokiya wasn’t really sure where he was. He was a little nervous, however, because people were bound to start becoming active soon, and that really worried Tokiya. 

The other thing that bothers Tokiya is his bitter thought about what a shame it was that the sun wouldn’t just turn him into ash. 

Tokiya decides that he’s too tired to keep walking. He sits down against a wall and curls into himself. He doesn’t have his phone- not that he’d ask Ren or Ranmaru to come get him. The sun was going to be up too soon. 

He’d try to find his way back when it was dark again. He’d close his eyes. 

Tokiya didn’t expect the way it would feel. 

At first it was uncomfortable. Like being under a heat lamp. But the pain just kept increasing. Tokiya had never had a migraine, but less than thirty minutes of being under the sun gave him what he’d assume is one. He’d make the mistake of opening his eyes once, and that was just to make sure that his skin only felt like it was burning. He’d assess that it wasn’t, at the sake of an incredible splitting pain that would start at his head and travel through his body. He’d go to find shade, but he’s in so much pain right now that he can’t move. 

It’s been about an hour. He thinks it’s worse because he’s managed to sit directly in the way of the sun. He wondered if maybe vampires really could turn to ash if they’re out long enough. 

It hits him that his lack of blood probably makes this worse. 

He had noticed it in his weight. After only a few days of not drinking any blood, he seems to be smaller. He could count his ribs. Ren and Ranmaru didn’t say anything, but Tokiya knew it was worrying them. 

Like an eating disorder from hell. Ren did say that Tokiya was starving himself.

Maybe if Tokiya tried really hard he could shrivel into nothing. 

Tokiya wonders if he’ll even recover in time tonight to make it anywhere. Maybe he’s doomed himself to a hell of constant pain. As much as Tokiya thinks he’s deserved it, he doesn’t think he hurt Ren or Ranmaru enough for them not to come for him tonight. And who knows how bad he’ll be feeling tonight. 

People are passing him by on the street. Probably assuming he’s homeless. Or asleep. Or both. 

Even with his eyes closed, he feels the very minimal relief and notices the lack of the direct sunlight. He tilts his head up, beginning to open his eyes, when he hears, “Wait.” It’s Ren. Tokiya feels panic. They shouldn’t be out right now. He feels something slide over his eyes. “It still might hurt, but it’s going to hurt less.” Tokiya opens his eyes. He’s wearing sunglasses. It definitely still hurts like hell, but he doesn’t have to close them. Ren is holding an umbrella over Tokiya, and Tokiya notices that Ren is wearing sunglasses. Ranmaru is behind him, wearing sunglasses and holding an umbrella as well. 

Tokiya tries to shove the umbrella, trying to get Ren to hold it back over himself. 

“No, Tokiya. Here. Do you think you can hold it?” Ren’s voice is firm. Tokiya hesitantly takes it. It feels so heavy. Once he has a grip on it, Ren picks him up. 

“I found a place. About a one minute walk.” Ranmaru mumbles. Ren nods. 

Tokiya’s in too much pain to care that Ren’s carrying him in public. He gets some stares, but no one says anything. They walk inside. Tokiya’s eyes had been closed, but he opens them and notices that they’re in a hotel. Ranmaru handles the desk. He comes back very shortly after with a key to a room. 

“Top floor. Supposedly should have blackout curtains.” Ranmaru mumbles. Ren nods, heading to the elevator. Ranmaru presses the button. When they get to the floor, Ranmaru opens the suite. Ren sets Tokiya carefully on the bed. Tokiya notices the bag that Ren has. A satchel, the strap wrapped around Ren’s chest. Ren takes off his glasses and takes the umbrella from Tokiya. He finally closes it. Ranmaru’s had been closed for a minute. Tokiya barely realized his was open. Ren leaves Tokiya’s glasses on until Ranmaru’s adjusted the room so that it’s as dark as it can get. It almost seems like night. Ren finally takes off Tokiya’s glasses and sits him up. 

Ren takes off his bag. Everyone has been silent. The room itself is a fairly large suite with one king sized bed, a bathroom, and a small living area with a couch, a TV, and a table with chairs. Ren takes out one pack of blood. Tokiya can see that there are at least two more bags of blood in there. 

Tokiya had yet to actually see it in a pack. “You’re drinking this, Tokiya.” Ren’s voice is stern. “I don’t care if I have to feed it to you like a baby bird, you’re finishing this pack.”

Tokiya’s too weak to fight him. His throat hurts too badly to speak, let alone argue. He still doesn’t want to, but when Ren opens the bag and puts it to Tokiya’s lips, his body takes over. Ren’s eyes narrow just slightly when Tokiya’s hands raise, but they relax when Tokiya doesn’t push away Ren’s hand. 

It still feels wrong. But Tokiya’s body has once again betrayed him. It doesn’t do much for the pain in his body. He still feels like someone’s lit him on fire. Ren hands him a second after Tokiya’s drained the first. Tokiya hesitates a bit more with this one, but when Ren moves it closer to Tokiya’s mouth, he drinks it. 

“I’ve got two more. Get some rest. When you wake up, you’re drinking another.” Ren says. He closes the bag, and he ends up setting the entire bag in the small fridge in the room. 

“I’ve got the room for two days. I don’t think he’ll recover enough tonight but I can extend it later if I need to.” Ranmaru tells Ren. Ren nods. 

When he realizes Tokiya’s still sitting up and watching them, he heads over to help Tokiya settle back down. He takes off Tokiya’s shoes. 

“I’m sorry that it took us so long to get to you. We move slower during the day, and you managed to get very far away from the house.” Ren sighs. 

Tokiya watches him for a second. His voice is very quiet. He isn’t sure he could be any louder if he tried. “I’m not taking back anything I said. But I am sorry for how I talked to both of you. You didn’t deserve that.” Tokiya’s too tired to cry, so he blinks back the tears that formed. His voice is almost inaudible. He’s nervous. 

He’s afraid that he doesn’t have the right right now to say what he’s about to but he does anyways. 

“I love you.” 

Ren’s face softens. He leans down, placing a very light kiss on Tokiya’s forehead. “I know you’re just scared, baby. I love you, too. So much.” 

Ranmaru sighs. He’s come over. “We’ve got some stuff to talk about when you’re better. But I love you, too, Toki.”

Tokiya manages to fall asleep. 

He sleeps through the day and through most of the night. Ren and Ranmaru sleep as well, but they’re careful not to touch Tokiya. They don’t want to hurt him worse.

Tokiya wakes up still in a considerable amount of pain. Ren turns his head towards Tokiya from his seat at the table as soon as Tokiya’s awake. Ren does walk over to check on Tokiya, first. 

“Please be careful, Toki. We told you that the sun can’t kill us, and it can’t- but you can still be seriously hurt. God, if we had left you out there longer.” Ren’s face is openly concerned that Tokiya’s chest constricts. “I’m still kicking myself for how far we let you get without us, and how long we left you out there.”

“That wasn’t your fault.” Tokiya mumbles. 

“There… are a few things that we need to do. But to start-” Ren looks over at Ranmaru. Ranmaru nods, moving to the fridge to open it. Tokiya flinches. 

“I’m sorry, Tokiya. But we have no choice but to be strict with this. We should have been strict earlier. Especially now that you’re hurt. You won’t heal if you don’t eat.”

“We get the way you feel, Tokiya. Maybe a ‘lil too well after last night. But that’s not how this works. You don’t eat a steak and decide that you’re going to start a farm to kill the cows yourself, do you?”

Tokiya frowns. Ranmaru’s opened the pack on the way over. He starts by offering it to Tokiya. Tokiya hesitantly takes it, though he just holds it. Looks at it. 

“If the only way you’ll drink it is if we get you somethin’ you can’t see it in, I’ll get you a water bottle you can’t see through. But you’re drinkin’ it.”

Tokiya shakes his head. “It wouldn’t help. I still know what it is.” His hand shakes as he brings it to his mouth. He’s still… thirsty. His throat still burns. It’s a bearable burn, one that he’s gotten used to by now. He doesn’t take a very large drink. He’s not thirsty enough for his body to take action, because it isn’t entirely starved right now. Ren holds his hand over Tokiya’s mouth when Tokiya looks sick. 

“You have to swallow it, Toki.”

It’s suddenly hard to force himself to swallow. It takes a minute, but he does. 

They force him to finish the entire pack. It doesn’t get any easier until he’s almost reached the end, but Ren doesn’t hold his hand over Tokiya’s mouth after the third sip. It takes at least a half an hour for Tokiya to finish it. Both boys are patient. 

“Good job.” Ren leans forward and kisses Tokiya’s forehead. “Thank you, Toki. We have one more pack. Are you still thirsty?” 

Tokiya shakes his head quickly. Could his body handle another, or possibly even need it? Probably. But he wasn’t sure he could mentally take that right now. 

“We won’t force you. But we are going to start making sure you’re feeding regularly. We don’t want you to be hungry, but we aren’t going to let you starve yourself anymore.” 

Tokiya sighs quietly as Ren takes the empty pack from his hands and moves to discard of it. When Ren comes back, his face is a bit more serious. 

“I feel like we’ve been having some… communication issues.” Ren says slowly. 

“To put it lightly.” Ranmaru grunts. 

“Tokiya, I want you to bite me.”

Tokiya’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I want you to mark me. If you’re comfortable doing it to Ranmaru, too, I think you should. But this is another thing I’m telling you to do. I won’t lie. It can be painful sometimes. Both emotionally, and physically. But I think it’s something you need to experience. Especially when we talk. I think it would be helpful to you to know how I’m feeling.”

Tokiya swallows. “What if I do it wrong? What if I accidentally hurt you?”

Ren shakes his head. “You won’t. But I’ll walk you through it.”

Tokiya is nervous. Tokiya is afraid. Tokiya’s thinking of the woman. 

“It’s not the same, Toki.” It’s almost like Ren can read Tokiya’s thoughts. “You won’t lose control. My blood doesn’t have the same taste. It’s not addicting like human blood is to us.”

Tokiya bites his lip. Ren brings his hand up, runs his thumb under Tokiya’s lip. 

“Okay.” 

Ren scoots closer to Tokiya. “I’ll let you decide where you want to bite. As I’m sure you know, they leave marks. Human or not.” Tokiya thinks. He takes Ren’s hand, turning it over. Ren is in a short sleeved shirt right now. Tokiya raises his eyebrow when he notices several markings. His unspoken question is answered when Ranmaru chuckles. Ren answers it aloud anyways. “I did tell you before that Ranmaru enjoys leaving marks. He doesn’t need to use his fangs on me. He chooses to.”

“You let me.” Tokiya can hear Ranmaru’s smirk. 

Ren sighs, amused. “I do.” Tokiya lets out an amused sound himself. He takes Ren’s other arm, which is significantly less marked. He traces his fingers lightly over the inside of Ren’s wrist. Ren lets out another sigh, but this one’s more contented. Tokiya lifts Ren’s wrist, pressing a light kiss to it. “Is that where you want to do it?” Tokiya nods. “Then just bite. Make sure that it breaks the skin.” 

“I can offer a demonstration.” Ranmaru says, and Tokiya can’t stop his snort. 

“On who?” 

Ranmaru was already sitting near Tokiya, but he moves closer. He presses a kiss to Tokiya’s shoulder. Tokiya knew that he’d take no for an answer- but Tokiya also knew that Ranmaru wasn’t joking. His grin was wolfish. “You’re still mostly unmarked.” Ranmaru nuzzles into Tokiya’s shoulder. “And you’ve got a real pretty reaction when we bite you.” 

Tokiya rolls his eyes, but he’s not unaffected. “Well. If it’s for research sake. I want to do this right. And I believe I may be returning the favor.” 

Tokiya can tell that his answer was what Ranmaru was hoping for. “There’s a lotta places I’d like to bite, but I’ll stick with somewhere you can watch.” Tokiya was very interested in these other places that Ranmaru was talking about- but for these intents and purposes, he’d have to agree that he should probably be able to watch. 

Ranmaru would take Tokiya’s wrist, the one that wasn’t still on Ren’s hand. Tokiya thinks that Ren is as transfixed with the scene as Tokiya is. His skin is still sore. His entire body is still sore. But it’s nowhere near as bad as it could be. Tokiya would go so far as to say that it barely hurt him to be touched. Ranmaru’s eyes change. That’s the first thing Tokiya notices. Tokiya still hasn’t figured out how to switch off his vampire side. His fangs are always out. But he does notice that while Ranmaru’s eyes are still just as captivating as they’ve always been, he isn’t frozen. 

Ranmaru turns Tokiya’s wrist. This is the unmarked arm. He’s going at a different angle than he had the first time. Tokiya could clearly sense how much Ranmaru was enjoying this. Tokiya wondered if the feelings he’d felt before would be dulled, now that he wasn’t human. 

“Ren. You wanna narrate?” 

“I can try.” Ren’s voice sounds a bit spaced out. 

“Try to pay attention, Toki. I’m willin’ to do this as many times as it takes for you to figure it out.”

“Sounds tempting.”

Ranmaru grins again. His fangs are out. 

“Well. Go ahead Ren.” 

“Ah, yes. So, Toki.” Ren rests his head on Tokiya’s shoulder, getting a better look for himself. “You’re going to bite down. Make sure you break the skin.” 

Ranmaru follows with Ren’s words. The feelings were not dulled in the slightest. There was a slight pain and then Tokiya’s breath picks up, and his entire body feels hot. But he’s watching Ranmaru, unblinking. 

“You’ll want to hold for just a few seconds. Maybe not as long as Ranmaru.” Ren’s voice is amused, but there’s something else to it as well. “And then you release. The hardest part is pulling your fangs out without pulling on the skin too much. Ran is good at it from practice.” Ranmaru hasn’t let go yet. Tokiya can tell that he isn’t drinking from Tokiya- because it’s not the same. Ren clears his throat and Ranmaru begrudgingly stops biting on Tokiya’s wrist. Tokiya thinks he’ll be able to see marks from Ranmaru’s regular teeth on the back of his wrist, too. Ranmaru pulls out at a slight angle, and Tokiya barely feels the fangs removed from the skin on his wrist. “And the last step is healing it. It’s as simple as it looks.” Ranmaru, perhaps a bit overdramatically, runs his tongue over the bite wounds, though he doesn’t stop, licking a strip up Tokiya’s forearm. 

“Now you’re just teasing me.” Tokiya would be blushing if he could be. He doesn’t think he can anymore. He’s sure his face conveys it enough. Ranmaru lets out an unapologetic chuckle. 

“Did you get it? Or do I need to show you again?”

“As much as I’d love to accept that offer, I think I’ve figured it out. I hope.” 

“You’ll be fine.” Ren reassures him. 

Tokiya takes a deep breath. He’s not totally out of the feelings from being bitten, but he feels clear headed enough to go through with this. He repositions Ren’s wrist, pressing another kiss against it. It’s Ranmaru’s turn to watch closely. Tokiya takes a quick glance at his own wrist, where the new scar lies. He focuses back on Ren’s wrist. He carefully bites down. 

“It’s okay, Toki. You have to apply more pressure. I’ll be alright.”

Tokiya bites down, trying to apply enough pressure quickly enough to make it smooth. He feels his teeth break the skin. Ren was right. Tokiya doesn’t feel the urge to drink from Ren. It isn’t a gross taste, but there’s no urge there. Tokiya holds himself against Ren’s wrist for a little longer than he needs to, and he tries to pull out carefully, but he can feel a sharp twinge of pain. He can only assume that the mark worked. Once Tokiya’s pulled away from Ren’s wrist he glances at Ren’s face, alarmed. “I’m sorry.”

“Ssh, it’s okay.” Ren rubs Tokiya’s back with his free hand. “Just close the wound.” Tokiya nods. It feels strange, running his tongue over Ren’s wounds. But when he pulls back, the wound is closed. In its place are two small, round, shiny new scars. “You did great, Toki.” 

Tokiya frowned. “But it hurt.” 

“If you felt that, the mark worked. You did just fine.” Ren leans forward, kissing Tokiya’s forehead. “Besides. You should know then that it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Ren was right. The only pain Tokiya was feeling was from himself. Tokiya nods. Ren smiles. 

“It’s up to you if you want to mark Ran. If you don’t want to do it now, it doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to.”

“Don’t feel pressured.” Ranmaru adds. “‘M not gonna be offended if you don’t want to.” 

Tokiya grabs Ranmaru’s wrist. He watches Ranmaru’s face. It’s nearly unreadable. But Tokiya has heard the way Ren and Ranmaru speak about markings as if they’re something sacred. Not to mention that Ren’s point stands for both of them. Maybe if Tokiya understood how they were feeling, particularly when they argue (or, more accurately, he argues with them), he might speak differently.

Tokiya presses a kiss against Ranmaru’s wrist. It’s Ranmaru’s right wrist. The same wrist that Tokiya bit on Ren. The same spot. 

Tokiya looks at Ranmaru for permission. Ranmaru nods. Tokiya presses one last kiss to Ranmaru’s wrist, and then he squeezes it lightly right before he bites down. It breaks the skin on the first try. He holds it longer with Ranmaru than he had for Ren, but that’s less of an attempt to make sure it works and more because it’s Ranmaru. Tokiya doesn’t quite pull out right again, and feels a short but sharp pain.“Sorry.” He mumbles over Ranmaru’s wrist, before running his tongue over the bite marks. He pulls back, looking at Ranmaru’s wrist. 

There’s a small mark there. Tokiya runs his fingers lightly over it. 

If Tokiya closes his eyes, he can tell exactly where Ren and Ranmaru are. It isn’t too difficult with them right beside him, but there’s a drawing towards them. He can easily imagine following it if he needed to. It doesn’t seem like it’d be hard. 

Tokiya feels a vague sense of caution. It’s mostly coming from Ren. He leans his head against Ren’s shoulder. He feels bad. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m making you feel like this.” Tokiya can’t imagine how long Ren’s probably felt like he’s walking on eggshells. “I… can’t take back most of what I said because I do still feel it. But it wasn’t fair to tell you that I didn’t ask for this. That was a blow and it wasn’t deserved.” 

“I know, Toki. But I’m hoping that we can avoid this in the future, now that we know how we’re all feeling.” Tokiya nods.

He could imagine how much easier it would be to bite his tongue if he could feel what he was making Ren and Ranmaru feel. 

Tokiya sounds like an ass. He guesses that recently, he was.

He hoped that would change.

It was much easier to stop fighting with them. The most surprising part was that he gave in a lot easier when they made him drink. He thinks it was the fear that they felt, Ren especially, when Tokiya tried to refuse. 

Ren never seemed panicked, but now that Tokiya could feel it, his reactions did change.

Tokiya had called in on a medical leave to work. He had managed to keep his cafe job, and Tokiya thinks that was mostly because he was one of their longest employees, and one of their most needed. But after a few months, Ren and Ranmaru relented to Tokiya returning. They were still there, every night. They let him back, mostly because he agreed to stay well fed. He didn’t want to have an accident at work. 

Nothing happened for a good month. But Tokiya’s coworker, a new girl who often seemed flustered and seemed to work harder than she needed to, had been trying to prep an ingredient and had cut herself. 

And it had just gotten to the point where Ren and Ranmaru had stopped being worried about Tokiya working.

Tokiya would freeze. His first thought was back to when Ren and Ranmaru told him that human blood tasted better than the blood packs. Like flat soda. There wasn’t much blood, but Tokiya could smell it. Like a shark. 

It would be so easy, alone with her in the kitchen. Tokiya grips the counter. She’s made a noise, and she’s grabbed a paper towel, but she’s nicked it just right and it won’t seem to stop bleeding. She hasn’t noticed how weird Tokiya was acting yet. 

So easy.

Tokiya couldn’t remember any food ever smelling this good. 

So easy.

It was like a mantra.

No, this wasn’t right. Tokiya’s grip on the counter is so tight that he’s starting to wonder what’s going to go first, the tabletop or his hand. 

He doesn’t think he’s going to last. There’s not enough negative feelings in him to alert Ren and Ranmaru enough to make them come into the kitchen. They’re a little uneasy, but it’s not enough. They can’t smell the seemingly insignificant amount of blood but it’s all Tokiya can think about. 

As he feels his resolve slipping, he goes for his last minute plan. He knows where the cameras in the kitchen are, and he turns his back to them, reaching for the knife setting by the cutting board he had been near. 

Tokiya had no other option. If he didn’t do something now, he’d attack her. She was still in the kitchen. Her bleeding still hadn’t stopped, and even if it had, the kitchen was already tainted with the smell. He straightens the hand gripping the table. He places his hand on top of the counter, flat. 

He stabs the knife into his hand.

“Shit!” He can’t stop the exclamation. He almost never cursed. He turns his head, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes. His hand has fallen off of the handle of the knife. He was standing underneath a counter, he could just say that there had been an unattended knife and it had fallen. Bad luck. 

His coworker comes over, and she full on panics. Ren and Ranmaru are more than alarmed at this point. 

The pain is the only thing keeping Tokiya from attacking her. 

“Can - can you go get the two guys in the booth? Please?” Tokiya’s voice is higher, and it’s strained. She nods quickly, running out of the kitchen. Tokiya’s entire body releases. Thank God.

He had been so desperate with the girl in the kitchen. Because he had been worried about hurting her. He had been desperate enough to stab a knife into his hand.

But now that she was out of the room and he wasn’t nearly as tempted- he couldn’t bring himself to remove the knife. 

Ren and Ranmaru both enter the kitchen. 

“What the fuck, Tokiya?” Ranmaru’s voice has an almost horrified edge to it. 

“I promise I can explain but can you please take it out?” Tokiya couldn’t even look at his own hand at this point. How on earth had he actually managed to do it?

Ranmaru is the one that offers to remove the knife. Ren walks to Tokiya’s other side, speaking softly. 

“Focus on my voice, Toki. It’s only going to hurt for a little bit.”

Ranmaru puts one hand on Tokiya’s wrist, holding it to the counter, and he uses the other to pull out the knife. Tokiya grits his teeth, but it doesn’t stop the noise he makes. 

“Let’s bandage it for now.” Ren says. “And let’s get you out of here, okay?”

Tokiya nods. His voice is tired. “The first aid kit is in the back of the kitchen, on the wall.” Ren heads towards where Tokiya directed him. 

Ranmaru glances back, behind Tokiya, and Tokiya looks over as well and he sees his coworker peeking her head into the kitchen. She ducks back out when she notices them looking. 

Tokiya sees Ranmaru purse his lips. Tokiya feels his annoyance. Tokiya guesses it’s because Ranmaru wants to ask Tokiya what happened. Ren comes back. 

Ren bandages it quickly, with Tokiya wincing every now and then. It isn’t the best bandage, but Tokiya’s healing factor is quicker. 

He’s learned to tolerate blood better, and that’s a good thing, because he was sure that Ren would insist that he feed when he’s back home. 

Tokiya refuses to leave until he’s cleaned up his blood. It still looks like normal, human blood. It’s just a slightly darker red than most blood usually is. He cleans and sanitizes the knife, counter and cutting board multiple times each. Ren leaves the kitchen. Ranmaru won’t. Tokiya can feel Ranmaru’s heavy caution. There’s suspicion. 

Ranmaru makes Tokiya leave after he’s done that. That was all Ranmaru had agreed to, was cleaning up the blood. 

Tokiya would ask his coworker if she could close, and she’d insist that she could handle it. Ranmaru waits until they’re out of the cafe to ask Tokiya about it. 

“What the hell happened?”

Tokiya sighs. “She cut her finger. It was the only thing I could think to do to stop from attacking her. It was better than the alternative.”

Ranmaru and Ren both sigh. He felt guilt from Ren. “Maybe we let you come back too soon.”

Tokiya can’t stop his own feelings of hurt. His voice is a bit tight. “I didn’t attack her.”

Ren rubs Tokiya’s back. “Toki, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m so proud that you held yourself back from hurting her, but I wish it wasn’t at the cost of your own health.”

“A knife to the hand isn’t going to kill me.”

“You can’t get in the habit of using pain as a deflection.” Ranmaru argues. 

Tokiya’s surprised. “You don’t think I did that as an alternative, do you?”

“Why else did you do it?” Ren’s eyebrows furrow. 

“I -” Tokiya bites his lip. He’s finally managed to learn how to retract his fangs. There’s much less pain when he isn’t cutting his lip open. He isn’t entirely sure how they’ll take his answer. “I was trying to figure out a way to get your attention.” Ren blinks, and Tokiya talks again, his voice quick. He’s nervous. “I wasn’t trying to be manipulative- I was just… I knew I needed your help and I couldn’t think of another way to get it without letting her know there was something going on.”

“We have to find a better way.” Ren says quietly. “A better signal. I don’t want you to think that you have to hurt yourself for us to come help you.”

“I know it isn’t a normal thing. This time just felt desperate.” 

Ren sighs. They’re at the house. 

Ranmaru opens the door. “Well. No more of that.” His eyes narrow at Tokiya. Tokiya can tell that he’s worried. So Tokiya nods. 

Ren heads to the fridge. Tokiya called it. Ren comes back with a pack of blood. Tokiya sighs, but he takes it from Ren. 

Ren hands it to him, kissing his forehead. 

“I’m not going to say your execution was great.” Ranmaru grumbles, but then his voice softens. “But you did good. I’m glad you held yourself back. And I’m glad that your first thought was to get our attention.” Ranmaru ruffles Tokiya’s hair. 

Tokiya had never seen Ranmaru livid. He’s seen angry Ranmaru, and has seen annoyed Ranmaru, but he had never been truly intimidated by Ranmaru’s rage. 

Ironic, that it was brought on by the people that had promised to kill them the next time they met. 

It was a group of five. Tokiya’s entire body would fill with fear. He can almost feel pain radiating through his chest. 

Being faced with the cause of his death was a horrible feeling. One unlike any other he had ever felt. It was enough to pause Ren and Ranmaru. Tokiya raises his hand to his chest, over his lung. He grips Ren’s arm for balance, his hand shaking. He’s scared. It hurts and he’s scared. 

He had only really remembered bits and pieces from his death, but it all came rushing back in detail. Ren, holding him and crying. Ranmaru, and the voice he had used. The softest one he had ever heard. And the pain. Oh, god, the pain. The feeling of blood filling his lungs and the life leaving his body. And the fear. Sometimes he felt the fear when he slept, like a visionless nightmare. 

Poor Ren and Ranmaru. Tokiya felt bad for making them go through what he was feeling. There were only negative emotions. Ren’s too focused on Tokiya to turn his attention elsewhere. He can’t bring himself to pry Tokiya’s hand off of his arm, so he just turns, bringing his face closer to Tokiya’s and placing his hand on his cheek. His voice is a murmur. 

“Toki? Baby? What’s going on? What’s wrong? What hurts?”

Ranmaru had chosen to look for the cause of Tokiya’s reaction. 

Ren’s panic isn’t enough to snap Tokiya out of his stupor. But both Tokiya and Ren start when they register Ranmaru’s emotion. 

The anger is so intense that it makes Tokiya sick. Tokiya feels incredibly sick, and he thinks that Ren is feeling sick, too. Ranmaru doesn’t seem to notice. Tokiya has never seen this level of intensity in Ranmaru’s eyes. Ranmaru’s fangs are out. Tokiya can see them, because Ranmaru’s lips are pulled back in a snarl. 

Ren stops cold when he finally looks at what Ranmaru’s focused on, and Tokiya feels anger. It’s sharp. It’s not quite as intense as Ranmaru’s anger, but it’s still entirely present. 

“Stay behind me, Toki.” Ren says. 

Tokiya is a vampire now. 

He’s still killable, but he’s not nearly as weak as he was. 

Tokiya wonders if Ren is protecting him because, for the moment, he’s viewing Tokiya as the same, admittedly fragile person he was last time. 

Or if it was because of Tokiya’s fear. 

Or if it was because he was worried how this was going to go. 

But the tone in Ren’s voice is as jarring as Ranmaru’s anger. 

It’s a commanding tone. There’s no room to argue. Tokiya doesn’t even consider arguing. 

Ren’s voice is still commanding when he speaks again, but there’s an edge to it that Tokiya can’t ignore. “And no matter what happens, don’t you dare put yourself in danger.” 

Tokiya swallows. The group is approaching. 

“I need you to tell me you heard that, Tokiya.” 

“Yes.” Tokiya’s voice shakes. “I won’t.” 

Tokiya is praying that nothing happens to either of them. 

Ren has a grip on Tokiya’s arm. This time, Ren is holding Tokiya back. 

Tokiya couldn’t even think of disobeying Ren right now. Not with his fear, and both of their anger. Tokiya was shaking so hard he couldn’t believe that he was on his feet. 

“What are you lookin’ at?” One of the men says, finally seeing Ranmaru’s look. “You trying to make a problem?”

Ranmaru doesn’t answer. Ranmaru throws a punch. It hits. There’s a loud crack. 

“What the fuck, man?” The guy backs up and the rest of their group gets alarmed. 

Tokiya recognizes the girl’s holster. 

“She’s still got the gun.” Tokiya says, his voice barely a whisper. 

“Stay back here, Tokiya.” Ren says. 

It’s Tokiya that makes them recognize the three. 

“Didn’t we kill you?” The girl says. Everyone in the group is preparing for a fight. 

It takes her off guard when Ren attacks. 

It takes Tokiya by surprise, too. Tokiya wonders if they may have avoided the fight if Ranmaru hadn’t started it. Tokiya barely even has time to worry that it’s five against two, because Ranmaru’s already taken down two of the guys, and Ren’s holding his own against both of the girls. 

It’s over when the girl tries to pull out her gun, because Ren easily disarms her. He turns the gun on them. They back up. 

“Ren, give me the gun.” Ranmaru says. His voice is monotone. It almost scares Tokiya. 

“Are you sure?” Ren asks quietly. His tone is serious. 

“An eye for an eye, Ren.” Ranmaru holds out his hand. Ren sets the gun in it and turns around. He turns Tokiya around, moving in front of him. Tokiya’s back is to Ranmaru. 

“Focus on me, alright?” Ren must feel Tokiya’s fear. Ren places his hands over Tokiya’s ears, but it hardly muffles the gun shots. There are quite a few of them. Consecutive. 

Tokiya can’t help wincing at each one. He’s glad that Ren won’t let him look. 

At least it wasn’t Ren and Ranmaru on the receiving end of the gunshots. 

And Tokiya probably wasn’t the only one that this group had hurt. 

Tokiya did truly believe that they had it coming. It still made him sad that Ranmaru was the one behind the trigger- Tokiya only hoped that it didn’t make Ranmaru’s preexisting guilt worse. Ren uncovers Tokiya’s ears. “Let’s head home. Ran will meet us there.” Tokiya nods. He’s tired, from his own emotions and from Ren and Ranmaru’s anger. Ren’s has died down and turned into concern. Tokiya isn’t sure who Ren is more concerned for, Tokiya, who’s fear was still prevalent, or Ranmaru, who’s anger wasn’t any better than before he had attacked. 

Tokiya is worried for Ranmaru right now, too, but he isn’t sure how much help he would be. Ranmaru may need a moment to calm down a bit before he, or even Ren, could get through to him. Ren keeps Tokiya close on the walk home. 

Ren’s concern increases when Ranmaru’s anger slowly starts to lessen, but Tokiya’s fear doesn’t. 

Ren can still feel pain. Tokiya is still in pain- even though he doesn’t understand how. He wants it to stop. His eyes burn with pained, frustrated tears, but he holds them back. He’s trying his best to ignore himself and to focus on Ranmaru. He wants to make sure he’s okay. 

Ren is focused more on Tokiya than Tokiya is. “Come sit down with me, baby.” Ren says gently, pulling Tokiya towards the couch. “You weren’t hurt, were you?” 

“I don’t know.” Tokiya sits, barely registering that he does. His voice is almost inaudible. He sounds distracted. 

“I know you’re worried about Ran, but I need you to focus, Toki.” Ren cups Tokiya’s face with his hands. His look is serious. “Where does it hurt?” 

Tokiya’s hand raises to his chest. He tries to focus, but his feelings flood back stronger. He’s scared, and it hurts. His other hand raises too, near his lungs. He feels like he can’t breathe. “I don’t want to focus Ren.” His voice is shaky. He blinks back the tears. “I don’t like it.” 

“I know, Toki. I think I know what’s going on.” Ren’s voice is soft. “And I’ll tell you, but let me look you over first and make sure you really aren’t hurt, okay?”

Tokiya doesn’t remember being hit by anything, but the pain is so real. Tokiya lets Ren take off his shirt. Ren looks closely, even when he doesn’t see anything immediately. He stands, checking Tokiya’s back. “This is where it hurts, right?” Ren’s fingers brush softly over a spot on Tokiya’s back, and Tokiya flinches. He nods. 

Ren pulls his hand away, sighing. He sits in front of Tokiya, placing his hand on Tokiya’s cheek, his eyebrows furrowing. The door opens. Tokiya’s attention turns towards it, and he tries to focus on Ranmaru’s emotions, because Ranmaru’s face is unreadable. Ranmaru is no longer livid. Tokiya doesn’t feel any guilt, either. He seems to be coming back from his anger, but his expression shifts when he sees Tokiya. Was Tokiya that much of a mess?

Ranmaru heads over to the couch, and for a second Ranmaru’s anger flares, and then it dies down, almost gone completely. There’s a flash of fear. “Did they get him?”

Ren shakes his head. “I was about to explain it to him. I- Toki.” Ren looks into Tokiya’s eyes, turning Tokiya’s head so that Tokiya’s looking back at him. “You’re reliving your death. That’s why it hurts.”

“How long?” Tokiya swallows hard. His hands shake, returning to his chest where the pain is still radiating. He wants it to stop. How can he tell his stupid body that he isn’t dying?

Ranmaru isn’t any less concerned, but he’s less fearful. Tokiya’s situation isn’t good, but he’s not dying. 

“There’s nothing we can do but to ride it out, Toki. I’m sorry I can’t make it stop.” Ren frowns. He sits on the couch, and he holds Tokiya. He pulls Tokiya into his side, his arm wrapping tightly around him. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re going to be okay.”

“And you’ll never have to go through this again. I promise.” Ranmaru’s voice is quiet, but serious. He sounds very sure. Maybe even a little grim. He moves over to the couch to sit on the other side of Tokiya. 

Tokiya doesn’t know how on earth he falls asleep, but he does, leaning against Ren’s chest with Ranmaru’s hand on his leg. Ren would have started humming, and Tokiya once agains appreciates how lovely Ren’s voice is. It doesn’t entirely distract from the pain, but it helps. 

When he wakes up, it’s only for a moment. Just long enough to notice that he’s in bed, the pain is gone, and he’s wearing sleep clothes. He’s in the middle. He closes his eyes, content. 

Things go back to normal. Ren and Ranmaru still normally go to work with him, but there are a few nights where they don’t- though usually someone still comes to walk him home.

They’re less worried about him, especially now that he’s eating right. He still doesn’t care for the blood, but he can ignore the nausea it used to cause. 

Every once in a while he walks home by himself- under the condition that he texts them when he’s leaving. 

On one of these nights, he comes home, and Ranmaru is cooking. Tokiya’s learned that it’s something Ranmaru really likes doing. Tokiya understands the feeling. 

“Welcome home.” Ren smiles as Tokiya walks through the door.


End file.
